


Disentangle

by Dae



Series: Unfaithful [2]
Category: Boruto: Naruto Next Generations, Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Drama & Romance, Humor, M/M, Romance, Shounen-ai, Slice of Life, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-07-20
Packaged: 2020-04-05 03:26:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 26,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19040191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dae/pseuds/Dae
Summary: Three years passed since they'd last seen each other. Neither expected to meet the other again, but when they do, it's harder to fight old habits than either of them would have imagined.A sequel to Unravel.Sasuke and Naruto will be forced to face old feelings and deal with the consequences of the new feelings that blossom.





	1. Old Feelings Die Hard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all!! 
> 
> Okay so, I've definitely read the comments from Unravel, and I know I've kept you guys waiting for so much longer than I'd planned. So... sorry about that. Really. But, even though I wanted to put this out months ago, it's finally here! Part II woo woo!! I hope you guys enjoy this new journey I'm planning to take you on. I really love reading the reactions from you all, and I'm going to try not to take forever with each update, but I can't even trust myself at this point. 
> 
> Anyway, thank you all for reading part I. Here goes Part II !!

"The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected."

\- Nicholas Sparks

 

Sasuke Uchiha hated Club Locust. The moment he walks in, it’s as if he’s entering a cloud of smog. The air is stiff and it clings to everyone’s scent, creating a putrid aura that only those too drunk to think about it could stand. 

And yet, he found himself at the second floor bar every now and then on a busy Saturday, his dark eyes peering at the clumsy, brunet bartender who couldn’t quite get through a shift without screwing up a drink or dropping a glass. The bartender’s Club Locust shirt was never on properly, he preferred to throw it over his shoulder and use it as a towel to wipe the sweat from his forehead. Sasuke found it distasteful.

He sipped on his bitter whiskey, and watched idly as the bartender threw flirtatious smiles his way. The young man wanted to have sex with him, that was clear, but Sasuke never seemed to be in the mood. 

He wasn’t sure why. 

Or maybe he knew why, but even in three years, he wasn’t willing to admit it. 

His phone buzzed. He lifted it from the bar to check the notification. 

It was from Sai. He’d sent a picture of Sarada holding something up at the camera that looked like her hairbrush. She looked angry, and even as a six year old, she was more and more resembling his mother, Mikoto’s, disapproving look. 

Sasuke downed the rest of his liquor, then got up from the bar as if he didn’t notice the longing stare the bartender sent his way. 

Stepping out of the club, Sasuke finally felt like he could breathe. He hadn’t realized how much he appreciated fresh air until he’d started coming here. 

He clicked on Sai’s name and held the phone up to his ear as he exited the alleyway. 

As soon as the call connected, “Why is my daughter awake at three in the morning?” 

Even though his voice sounded neutral, he knew Sai would sense the heat in his tone. 

“Uchiha-sama, did you have a pleasant evening?” Sasuke almost scoffed at Sai’s attempt to diffuse the situation. 

“You’re funny,” he said, his voice void of the humor he suggested. 

“Sarada-chan is unhappy with the way I’ve combed her hair. And now she refuses to brush her teeth for bed.” Sai reported, as if the issue at hand wasn’t charged by a six year old. 

“Why are you telling me this now?” Sasuke asked as he entered the parking lot where he’d left his car. He unlocked the door and slipped in, noting the prolonged silence. 

Finally, “She wanted to watch a movie.” 

Sasuke sighed, because he was very close to firing Sai. But, as capable as Sai is in all other aspects of being a personal assistant, helping raise a child wasn’t his forte and he’d never pretended that it was. He would have to be reasonable. 

“I should fire you,” Sasuke breathed out despite himself, and Sai chuckled in return. 

“That would not be your most wisest decision, Uchiha-sama.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes. _Whatever_. He wanted to out of spite now. But, he wouldn’t be childish. He was nearly thirty-five now after all.

He turned the key in the ignition and started up the engine. After rubbing his tired eyes he said, “I’ll be there in ten,” and hung up.

 

* * *

 

 

Three years ago he’d moved into a new complex for Sarada’s sake. He hadn’t realized that Karin would give up custody of Sarada after the divorce. She loved their daughter, but he guessed she wanted to get whatever years back that she’d wasted being in love with a gay man.

He stayed in Tokyo, this time in a three bedroom flat. Sai stayed overnight most days, especially at times where Sasuke wanted to go out and blow off some steam. He could have hired more staff, but Sasuke hated having unfamiliar people in his home, so Sai would have to do. However, more often than not, Sasuke ended up coming home early to diffuse some sort of fire.

In this case, it was an improper brush job. 

As soon as he closed the door to his place, Sarada came from around the corner in her nightgown with the same hairbrush from the picture in her little fist. 

Sasuke kneeled down to get to her level as she stopped in front of him. 

“What’s wrong? It’s far past your bedtime.” Sasuke said, not bothering to look at a clock. 

Sarada huffed, “I have knots in my hair,” she grumbled. 

Sasuke sighed and ran a hand through her lightly tangled hair. It was growing long, past her shoulders now. Sasuke had asked about a hair cut, since she’d always worn it short, but she wanted to try something different. 

“It’s not that bad,” he concluded. His answer wasn’t what she wanted to hear.

“Uncle Sai is bad at putting me to bed.” He wondered if she were too old to be _put to bed_. Living in the mansion had definitely spoiled her more than Sasuke had imagined. 

Sai walked in at that moment, and Sasuke gave him a look out of the corner of his eye before returning his attention to Sarada. “He’s doing his best.” 

She huffed again and stomped a foot. Sasuke smiled, because even if this was a tad aggravating, she really was cute. Even in her anger, he could see from the way she swayed from one side to the other that she was seconds away from passing out. 

“Come on,” he opened his arms and she gripped his shoulder with one hand, her other hand still holding onto the brush. He lifted her up and her legs went around his waist. 

He carried her to the bathroom through her room. He sat her on the sink and took the brush from her hands. She lightly kicked her feet at the air while he started to brush her hair. 

“You shouldn’t be up this late,” he chided, and not for the first time since he’d taken over custody. Even so, being up at four AM was more than ridiculous at her age. 

“I’m tired,” she responded with a yawn. He snorted out a chuckle, one that he never did around anyone but her, and shook his head. 

“You start school on Monday, do you want to get in trouble for sleeping in class?” He switched from one side of her head to the other while he spoke. 

“But you never sleep until it’s morning again,” she replied, looking smug. 

He stopped and gave her a look, “You _really_ think I get enough sleep? Besides, if you don’t sleep you’ll end up with bad skin.” He lightly pinched her pouting cheek. He remembered his mothering saying that to him and his brother when they were younger. Turns out, it worked. 

She shrugged and looked away, and he knew he’d won so he kept on brushing.

By the time that he was done, she’d fallen asleep. Her head was resting heavily on his shoulder while he placed the brush behind her on the sink and lifted her back into his arms. 

When he’d put her down in bed he noticed Sai was standing by the doorframe with a tablet in his hand. Sasuke peeked at him before he tucked his daughter in, unable to stop himself from rubbing her soft cheek with his hand before he addressed Sai. 

“What?” He asked, voice stark and so different from the one he used with Sarada. Sai wasn’t fazed, and stepped aside while Sasuke exited the room and shut the door behind him. 

Sai followed Sasuke down the hall, back into the living room. He began speaking once Sasuke made it to the kitchen. 

“Have you taken a look at the email sent from Sarada-chan’s school?” Sai asked, eyes still scrolling over what Sasuke could only assume was said email. 

“Isn’t that what I pay you for?” Sasuke answered, pulling a glass out the cabinet before searching for a bottle in the nearby wine cooler. 

Sai made a sound that could have been a chuckle, but didn’t answer right away. 

Sasuke poured his glass then turned to face Sai again while he took a slow sip. Sai was smiling oddly at the screen of the tablet, and Sasuke hated that his interest was peaked. 

“What?” He asked when Sai was stubbornly silent. 

Sai shrugged, “I believe you’d be interested to know who will be teaching her homeroom this year.” 

Sasuke snorted, “Doubtful.” He turned his back again and downed the rest of his wine. He thought about pouring another glass, but figured he would much rather be in bed. So he placed the glass on the counter for Sai to take care of, and promptly walked out of the kitchen. 

As he walked down the hallway towards the end where the master bedroom was placed, Sai poked his head from the kitchen to call out to him. 

“Are you certain you wouldn’t want to know?” 

Sasuke stopped, his eyebrow twitching at the playfulness in Sai’s voice.

He turned to Sai with a glare, “Shouldn’t you be folding clothes or something more productive than pestering me?” 

Sai’s smile grew wider, and then he shrugged as if Sasuke were right and turned to walk back into the living room. 

Sasuke sighed and shook his head. His patience was wearing thin, and he was tired now. He hadn’t been able to get much sleep lately. 

In the solidarity his room presented him, Sasuke felt almost sane again. By now the sun was coming up, so he was grateful that Sai had thought to draw the curtains to fend off most of the light. 

He tossed his tie, undid his shirt and dropped his slacks, walking towards his bed in only his briefs. 

As he lay back in his bed and curled into his covers he wondered how long it had been since he’d had sex. It was partially because of Sarada being there, and the idea of pulling a stranger to some hotel had never appealed to him. But there was something else, something underlying that made the idea of finding someone to shag for the sake of shagging unsavory. 

He pulled the covers tight around his shoulders, and noted that the bed felt a bit colder than usual. He thought for a moment that perhaps his California King bed was too big for just him. 

Then he scolded himself because it seemed like it was just the old age talking.

And even if it weren’t, he would chalk it up to just that.

 

 

* * *

 

The next day Sasuke woke up with a headache. It might have been the alcohol, but thinking about that only irritated him on his way to relieve himself before starting his day. 

Surprisingly, Sarada was up before him, eating pancakes Sai had prepared. 

Sasuke approached them in his sweatpants, and sat down at the table beside his daughter. “Coffee,” he demanded in a gruff, sleep-filled voice. 

Sai had already anticipated this, and sat a hot mug of the bitter liquid in front of his bratty employer. 

Sasuke assumed today would be just like any other, but he was starting to realize something was looking down on him. And that something was cursing him to hell. 

The front door opened, and mid-sip, Sasuke glared in its direction. The only person who had a key, other than the three individuals in the room, was his ex-wife. But, it wasn’t the irritable redhead who walked through the door. 

“Uncle!” Sarada cheered with her mouth half-full, jumped out of her chair and sprinted over to the ageless man. 

Sasuke continued to glare as he swallowed his coffee. He watched silently as his unwelcome brother picked Sarada up as if he had been invited.

“You’re getting heavy, you know,” his brother, Itachi, said to Sarada, as he poked her forehead the way he would do to Sasuke when they were younger.

Sarada giggled, immediately grabbing hold of Itachi’s long, silky hair that was pulled down into a low ponytail.

“I think your father’s live-in call boy might be overfeeding you,” Itachi remarked in a tone of sarcasm that went right over Sarada’s head. 

“Fuck off,” Sasuke grumbled. 

Sai didn’t comment. 

Itachi walked over, disregarding the foul language as he went to sit Sarada back at her seat. She reluctantly let go of his hair.

“What are you doing here?” Sasuke asked, instead of the nagging question of _where the hell did he get a key_. He knew he wouldn’t get a straight answer. 

“I was in the neighborhood,” Itachi shrugged. He looked around and was obviously putting his nose up at Sasuke’s state of living. He didn’t bother hiding his distaste “This is… different…”  

Sasuke rolled his eyes, “It’s easy.” 

Itachi snorted at that. Sasuke didn’t see what was so funny. 

“Mother’s worried,” Itachi said this time. 

“Mother’s dead,” Sasuke replied back. 

“Doesn’t mean she’s not rolling in her grave,” Itachi chided. 

Sasuke snorted this time, “I’m sure you’d like that.” 

Itachi glared. Sarada looked between them as she chewed her pancakes. She could feel the tension, but couldn’t quite understand it. 

Sasuke sighed. “I’m assuming you’re not here to catch up with your little brother,” he rolled his eyes at the thought.

He knew Itachi had heard the news that hit three years ago. How couldn’t he? Sasuke  _outed_ publicly by his then-wife, the substantial dip in his business’s stock; nearly everyone had some inkling of what occurred during that hellish dinner party. But, Itachi didn’t speak on it then. And in fact, this was the first time seeing his brother face-to-face since he’d left America. Their last meeting wasn’t the most agreeable one. 

Even so, walking in as if he’d been coming by routinely was Itachi’s style. You never knew when he’d pop up, but you’d better be damn sure that eventually he would. And with his presence, there was always abysmal news. 

Itachi chuckled this time, “In that, you are correct.” He sat down at the table across from Sasuke and looked to Sai expectantly.

Sai didn’t need to ask, and quickly placed a mug of coffee in front of him. 

Itachi took a sip before he spoke again, “I’m getting married.” 

Sasuke’s eyes widened. That, he wasn’t expecting. He felt like there was something he was missing.

“What?” He asked dumbly, because at the moment his big brain couldn’t think of anything better to say. 

“Are you having trouble hearing me?” Itachi asked instead of answering, then took another sip.

Sasuke didn’t waver. That was Itachi’s game, always trying to get Sasuke to take the bait, dangling snide remarks and sarcasm at him as if it was a treat for a dog. Sasuke steeled his expression and rephrased, “You’ve been seeing someone?”

Itachi simply nodded. “A very lovely young woman. Her name is Konan.” Another sip. 

Sasuke looked away, his mind trying to force itself out of its current state of shock.

“I know this might be a bit surprising for you, little brother. But, as you know, I’ve never been very fond of sharing my personal life with others,” Itachi said, and finally sat the coffee aside as a way to show that he was content with letting it be forgotten and cold.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes at the statement, because within it, the core of Sasuke’s resentment towards him laid there. Itachi was always the favorite. Sasuke was the _project_. Something for his parents to fix. Whether it is because he was gay or because of that one fucking B he’d gotten when he was in grade school.

Itachi was left alone to do whatever he wanted, but never Sasuke. If there was a charity, Sasuke was there. If there was a business event, Sasuke was there. If there were a woman available to marry, Sasuke would marry her. If there was a business to take over, it was in Sasuke’s name. And why? So that people wouldn’t know the truth? So that people would think of Sasuke like the prodigy Itachi was?

But he wasn’t surprised that Itachi was getting married to a woman Sasuke didn’t even know about. He was more so surprised that Itachi was telling him at all. The last time they’d met was at his father’s funeral in Washington, DC. Itachi had wanted him to stay behind to help settle the businesses their father had started in America during his time as the Ambassador. But, Sasuke took his family and went as far away from that world as he could. He pursued the business he’d started with Suigetsu and didn’t bother looking back.  

“Okay,” Sasuke said after a long pause. Sarada had finished her pancakes and had moved on to nag Sai about playing dolls with her. Itachi was simply staring, waiting for him to go on because he could sense the oncoming words. “Why tell me?”

Itachi chuckled, as if what Sasuke said was truly humorous. He shook his head after that and folded his arms over his chest.

“As much as you think I’m out to get you, Sasuke, I do love you,” Itachi said, and if his face weren’t so serious Sasuke would’ve been inclined to laugh this time. But instead, he felt his cheeks and neck heat up from embarrassment. He looked away as if that would keep Itachi from seeing it. 

It didn’t, of course. But, Itachi was kind enough not to pick on him for it. 

Itachi sucked in a breath and stood up while Sarada pulled Sai out of the kitchen towards her room. Poor guy.

Sasuke didn’t bother looking up at his brother, and instead took a long sip of his coffee. Itachi spoke up then, “Are you still seeing that boy who all but ruined your reputation?” He asked as if those words weren’t supposed to grit at Sasuke’s nerves. Maybe he was genuinely curious, but Itachi never asked questions he didn’t already know the answer to. You’d have to be a fool to think this man was truly innocent. 

Sasuke swallowed, sat his mug aside and gave Itachi a serious look, “No.” He felt his chest heat up and wondered if it was heartburn. 

Itachi shrugged, “Then I suppose you’ll be coming alone.” 

“I suppose,” Sasuke answered.

“Hn,” Itachi nodded, looking now at the picture tacked to the fridge. It was an old picture of Sasuke and their mother, a rare picture of the two of them laughing at something out of frame. Itachi remembered taking the picture.

“Is that all?” Sasuke asked, interrupting Itachi’s private musing. 

“It’ll be this November,” he said, and walked around the table to exit the kitchen. “Say goodbye to Sarada for me.” He left after that.

Sasuke continued to sit at the table, fidgeting with the handle of his mug. He hated weddings, and hated his brother even if he really didn’t. He just wished things hadn’t gone this way. There was something missing. It wasn’t Karin, though a deeper part of him could say he missed her in some way.

He sighed, letting go of the handle and rubbing the space between his brows. He was getting a headache.

 

 

* * *

  

Monday came, and Sasuke pondered over whether or not he should have Sai take her to the new semester ceremony. Sai had taken her to the entrance ceremony the year before, and he knew that Sarada wished it were him instead.

He figured he’d resented his parents for not taking him for similarly childish reasons. But when he remembered how those reasons turned into his toxic teenage years, he figured he shouldn’t give Sarada the chance to hate him. 

He drove to the school with Sai in the passenger seat and Sarada in the back. She was looking over one of Sasuke’s large books about analyzing statistics, pretending to read it while he weaved through traffic. 

Sasuke never understood the point of entrance or semester ceremonies. He questioned it even more once he was there and seated. The parent sitting next to him was crying at their child who was standing in the front row of the cluster of new students. He scoffed and rolled his eyes, then crossed his arms as if that would keep him from _catching_ whatever the man next to him had. 

Sarada was in the front as well, standing in her uniform looking nervous and skittish of the noise around her. He would’ve thought she’d be used to it by now with all the parties Karin loved to throw. But he supposed this was a little different. And when her eyes landed on him, and the tension in her shoulder eased a bit, Sasuke was glad he’d chosen to come, even if his narrowed eyes and stoic expression didn’t show it. He nodded at her and she straightened her back as if she was told to. He almost smiled.

Sai brushed past him to take his seat next to Sasuke’s just as the ceremony began. 

It was agonizingly boring, and Sasuke scrolled the news on his phone for most of it. After the Principal’s opening speech, old and new students began sharing their knowledge and experience or encouraging them to do their best, half of which made Sasuke roll his eyes. It wasn’t until he heard Sai chuckle that he looked up at him. 

“What?” He asked, because what Sai found funny _had_ to be more interesting than Class Representative, Kakei Sumire’s overly inspiring speech. 

Sai looked to him, his eyes narrowed slyly and mouth crooked. “Nothing, Uchiha-sama,” there was something teasing in his voice that Sasuke didn’t like. But, he wasn’t going to ask twice, so he looked back down at his phone and continued reading a story about the Prime Minister’s alleged drinking problem. 

Then Sai did it again.

Sasuke slowly peered at him, assessing his behavior to see if he could figure it out just by staring. But, it didn’t take long for it to click. 

“I’d like to thank you all for joining us today! All of your children worked hard to get here—” 

Sasuke’s eyes widened at the raspy voice. He whipped his head to the center of the stage. The person standing behind the podium, in front of the students, was unmistakably recognizable. 

He felt himself rising from his seat, but Sai rested his hand on his arm to get him to stop. He’d have to thank him later. 

He readjusted himself and stared like a wide-eyed fool at the man with golden blond hair and blue eyes he could see even from this distance. 

“Naruto…” he breathed out the name without meaning to.

Naruto was still speaking, but Sasuke’s mind was far too muddled to catch anything he was saying. 

Sai leaned over, “He will, apparently, be in charge of Sarada-chan’s class.”

Sasuke snapped his head back to Sai, glaring now. Now he knew why Sai was pestering him so much the night, and it pissed him off because if he’d known he would have, at least, been prepared for this.

Sai shrugged and smiled with a look that said, _“I told you so”._ But, how would he have known that _this_ is what Sai was going to tell him? 

By the time he managed to look back at the stage, Naruto had stepped down to stand beside the other teachers. The Principal stepped forward next. 

“Again, thank you!” The principal began to conclude. “Please encourage all of our new students and…” 

Sasuke wasn’t listening. His eyes were glued to Naruto who was so oblivious to his staring. He was looking to his left and chatting quietly with another teacher. The teacher must have said something funny, because he watched Naruto’s eyes crinkle while a large grin stretched across his face. 

He felt something pull at the inside of his gut, and he adjusted himself against to rid himself of that feeling. It was frustrating, more than anything. 

The Principal bowed at the end of his speech. Naruto and the other teachers walked off stage after that; the students followed behind them.

As the parents began to collect their belongings, Sasuke and Sai sat there for a moment longer. Sasuke glared at the stage, hating that his heart was beating painfully in his chest. He wanted to rip it out and throw it onto the stage out of spite.

“Should we leave now?” Sai asked once most of the parents had abandoned their seats. Sasuke sighed and ran a hand through his hair, bringing himself back to reality. 

He looked to Sai, “Go. I’ll meet you in a moment.”

Sai nodded and stood without further questioning. Sasuke watched him walk around the chairs and out of the auditorium before getting up to find a bathroom. He needed to collect himself. He needed to calm down. What was he getting so excited for anyway? It was three years ago. It had already been _three years_.

He repeated these things in his head, feeling silly for doing so, but also finding that it helped a bit to rationalize it in his head. There were so many things he wanted to do, some of which probably would’ve gotten him and his daughter kicked out of the school. But, the sane part of him just wanted to get it together and go home. Naruto was Sarada’s teacher. There was no reason to panic. Chances are, they wouldn’t even meet.

Sasuke let out a breath as he walked down the empty hall towards the restroom. He pushed the door opened and immediately went for the sink. 

He ran the water and cupped it in his hands. The feeling of it against his face was enough for him to take the images out of his mind, even if it was just a little. His face, his skin, his body; why was it all haunting him this way? He prided himself on being able to let people go easily, but this time, things were different. And he’d hate to admit it was because of something so trivial like lov… 

The door opened, and he would have disregarded the interruption had he not been able to see the person in the mirror’s reflection.

He straightened his back and turned the water off; unbothered by the way it dripped from his face onto the collar of his shirt. He reached over and grabbed a few paper towels from the dispenser, unwilling to glance at the reflection again to see the shocked expression on Naruto’s face.

Naruto stepped closer, but not towards him. He went to the sink, staring at the back of Sasuke’s head on the way there. But nothing was said right away. He turned on another sink and used it to wash his hands. Possibly not what he’d come into the bathroom to do, but Sasuke could guess he also hadn’t gone into the bathroom expecting to see Sasuke there. 

Sasuke wiped his face and finally looked at Naruto. By then, Naruto’s eyes were focused on his hands, maybe too focused. Sasuke cleared his throat, and he thought he’d seen Naruto jump a little. But the reaction came and went in a flash. Naruto finished, shutting off the sink and wiping his hands against his pants the way Sasuke expected him to.

Naruto stood straight this time and looked up into Sasuke’s eyes. There was a wavering resistance there, but Naruto didn’t look away.

“Hey,” Naruto said, sounding oddly casual.

“Hn,” Sasuke couldn’t think of anything else to say. A greeting in return would’ve been more of the norm, but not for Sasuke. 

Naruto scratched the back of his head, looking shy but still not bothering to break their lingering eye contact. Sasuke felt his throat swell, and wondered if it would impede his ability to speak. 

“How’ve you been?” 

Sasuke should’ve expected that question, but his eyes widened slightly as if it had came right out of left field. The last time they’d seen each other they’d fallen asleep in his old bed, nestled together like lovers after a night of passion, or something frivolously similar.

Sasuke was the first to look away, and he almost pinched himself for being the weaker one. “I’ve been fine.” That wasn’t the whole truth, but it was all he was willing to say. 

Naruto nodded slowly, finding it easier to look away now that Sasuke’s eyes weren’t boring into his.

“Still talkative, I see,” Naruto joked awkwardly. Sasuke’s lips twitched up into a small smirk, but the expression didn’t last. He turned his eyes back on Naruto and narrowed them into a calculating glare. God, he hated this feeling. It was confusing and unusually overwhelming. He wanted so much to grab Naruto and choke him for disappearing the way he did, but at the same time…

“Well… I should go back to—“ Naruto started to say, but Sasuke cut in.

“Why did you leave?” It came out so suddenly that even Sasuke was surprised by his words. Naruto didn’t hide his own shock. His brilliant blue eyes were wide like they just might explode. Sasuke didn’t waver, and he didn’t look away this time. He cleared his throat and awaited his answer as if he wasn’t experiencing prepubescent word-vomit. 

“What are you talking about?” Naruto’s face twisted into a mixture of embarrassment and sadness. Sasuke wasn’t sure which feeling was willing over the other. 

Sasuke didn’t answer, because Naruto knew what he was talking about, and Sasuke wasn’t going to give him the opportunity to write this off or whatever the hell the moron had been doing for the past three years. Forgetting about him, maybe? Moving on, perhaps? Bullshit. 

He stood calmly, still waiting for Naruto to give him an answer instead of the run-around. 

Naruto looked away again, this time biting his lip. He looked like he was thinking over his answer and Sasuke’s patience was running thin. However, he didn’t rush him. He just stared, training his expression to hide the frustration and irritation that was slowly blossoming.

It didn’t help that there was a troublesome feeling bubbling up in the pit of Sasuke’s stomach. He didn’t know if it was nerves or because his eyes were being drawn to the reddening skin appearing just beneath Naruto’s collar. The bubbling was turning into a funny tingle around Sasuke’s privates. He ignored it and scratched his hip as if to get rid of an itch.

Finally, Naruto spoke, but he didn’t answer his question; “I can’t talk about this now.”

“Then when?” Sasuke said, again not meaning to. It seems as if his logical brain was on sabbatical. 

Naruto stammered, unable to form any real words. He was squirming now, and Sasuke almost felt compelled to let him go. And yet, another part of him, a more sadistic part, was enjoying seeing Naruto here, flustered and unable to think straight. Sasuke wanted to, more than anything, cross over the room, push their bodies together and take Naruto right against these dinosaur-painted tiled walls. 

But, he wasn’t that person anymore. He hadn’t been in years. 

Naruto sighed, obviously frustrated now, “Look. I can’t do this, okay? I just…” the door busted open then.

A young boy in his school uniform slowed down once he spotted them. He eyed them curiously as he walked by towards the stalls. 

Once the stall door was closed and locked, Sasuke huffed and looked away. The tension was only heightened.

“I’ve got to go,” Naruto rushed to say and quickly made his exit.

Sasuke stared at the door Naruto left through and then turned to glare at the stall where the boy was, wondering if he would go to hell for cursing a child.

 

* * *

 

Sasuke approached Sai outside of the school where he stood by the passenger’s side looking pleased with himself. Sasuke knew he looked ruffled, and Sai was likely finding it far too funny.

He ignored Sai in favor of walking around to the driver’s side.

“Get in,” he growled, and Sai followed his lead without a fight. 

Sasuke sat in the car for a moment, thinking and trying not to think about that encounter with Naruto.

Sai sat calmly, buckling up and looking at Sasuke expectantly. Again, Sasuke chose to ignore him. He leaned back in his seat and rubbed a hand over his tired face. His heart wouldn’t settle down, it made him want to punch something.

“Would you like me to drive?” Sai offered, because it had already been a full minute since they’d sat down and Sasuke didn’t look ready to go anywhere.

Sasuke sat up straight and glared at him. “Shut up,” was his only answer. He put the car in drive and backed out of the parking lot. His mind couldn’t help but think of when they’d meet again.

 

* * *

 

 

“Please sit,” the class president, Sumire, said and everyone sat with her command.

Naruto stood over the class, looking over everyone. He felt sweaty and uncomfortable, like he just wanted to take a bath and curl up in his bed. But the school day was just beginning. Hell, the school year had just begun. And all he could think about was fucking Sasuke.

It didn’t help that Sarada sat up front, fingers laced and staring with those same dark, mysterious eyes her father had.

She didn’t seem to recognize him. He didn’t blame her. It’d been three years and she could only have been just as old. That was relieving, at least. He wouldn’t want to have to pull her aside to explain that: _Yes, we are cousins. Yes, I am the man your father was sleeping with. Yes, I am the reason your parents divorced. Yes, I do regret it. Yes, I do miss him…_

“Uzumaki-sensei,” a chubby student called from the back. He looked to her, and nearly thanked her for taking him out of that train of thought.

He cleared his throat and walked around to the chalkboard tacked onto the wall behind his desk. “Yes, sorry,” he smiled cheekily at them. “This is your homeroom class. I’ll be explaining how you’ll be spending the rest of the year.”

 

* * *

 

When the bell rung to signal the end of the day, Naruto’s body sagged with exhaustion. Since seeing his class roster, he’d anticipated meeting Sasuke again. Just, not this soon. 

He was childish those years ago; reacting impulsively to everything Sasuke did, wanting him to be something he wasn’t. He realized that as time went by. He’d thought that he’d let that part of himself go, or most of it, at least. To think that just looking into Sasuke’s eyes, being in the same space as him for the first time in so long would emit that same feeling of want inside of him. It was terrifying.

If he didn’t stop this now, contact Sasuke and tell him that he never wanted to see him again the way he should have instead of disappearing without a final word. If he didn’t do that now, then the possibility of him slipping and falling into that same lust entangled web would be too easy. Sasuke wasn’t capable of loving him. He knew that, because he’d stupidly tried to obtain something similar with him in the past. He wasn’t capable of commitment or any of the things Naruto had longed for since Neji.

But then, why did Sasuke look at him like that when they’d bumped into each other in the bathroom? It wasn’t the same look he’d given him before that slowly peeled Naruto’s clothes off and left him naked. It was as if he wanted something different from Naruto. 

_“Why did you leave?”_

Jesus, how was he supposed to answer that?

Naruto walked around and sat at his desk. He loosened the tie around his neck so that he could breathe easier.

He was overthinking this. Knowing Sasuke, he was probably pissed because he wasn’t the one who’d finally ended it. Whatever _it_ had been, anyway.

Just as he was relaxing into his seat a call came through to his phone. 

He picked it up without checking the caller ID. “Yo,” he spoke lazily.

“Hey,” it was Gaara. Naruto’s heart was ramming in his chest and he had no idea why. Why did he feel so panicked? 

“H-hey…” Naruto said, sitting up and pulling a hand through his hair. “What’s up?” 

“Are you done? I was thinking we could go out for dinner.” 

“Um,” Naruto hesitated, and again, he didn’t know why. They were good, weren’t they? Better than good. There was nothing to feel nervous about. 

“Naruto?” Gaara spoke when Naruto didn’t immediately answer. 

“Yeah, yeah, sorry. That sounds good.” Naruto nodded to himself as if he needed his own affirmation. 

Gaara was silent this time. He knew Naruto was acting strangely. Naruto never was very good at hiding anything. He should just tell him about what happened today with Sasuke. It’s not like he’d done anything that would’ve been considered _stepping out of bounds._ They’d just talked, and Naruto was planning to keep their interactions to a minimum. Why shouldn’t he tell Gaara? He should. He knew he should. 

“Is everything alright?” Gaara asked, and Naruto saw this as an opening.

“No. Nothing’s wrong. I’ll meet you at the place, just text me where to go,” he shut his eyes tightly, because that is NOT what he’d wanted to say. But he knew, deep down, that it wasn’t just a casual conversation he’d had with Sasuke. There was so much more to it. He wanted to believe it was just a passing look or his own imagination, but he knew what he saw in Sasuke’s eyes was real. He’d be fooling himself to believe that Sasuke’s intentions were some petty way of getting back at him.

“Okay,” Gaara said after another long moment. “I’ll see you in an hour.” He hung up after that. Naruto dropped his phone onto his desk and was tempted to bang his head against it next. He didn’t, because if any other teacher saw him doing that, there’s no way they’d trust that he wasn’t going insane.

So, he just sat there, looking at the empty seats and wondering if or when they would meet again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First chapter down! So many more to go T.T 
> 
> I'm excited to see what y'all think. Thank you for reading and I hope you're looking forward to chapter 2!!
> 
> Until then~


	2. What Do You Want From Me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo~ I'm glad y'all are enjoying the story so far! I am having a blast writing it, just so you know. I decided I'd post this chapter earlier than planned, because I just couldn't y'all waiting any longer. (Plus I definitely said I'd have the first chapter by the beginning of the year and it's June now soooo >.>) Anyway! Enjoy!!

Naruto stared down at his pasta dish, pushing the noodles around with a fork. His head rested against his fist, and even a blind man could tell there was something on his mind. 

“Naruto,” Gaara spoke. There was no immediate response. 

Naruto felt the silence that followed and managed to look up from his dish to see Gaara staring at him. “Hm?” He answered, still barely there. 

He looked back to pick at his dish, expecting for Gaara to say something else. When he didn’t, he looked again and noticed the unusual amount of concern in Gaara’s eyes. So, he straightened himself and took his first bite, an attempt to appear normal.

“Are you alright?” Gaara asked and Naruto stopped chewing. 

He swallowed, “Me? Oh, yeah, I’m fine.” He smiled and took another bite.

This seriously sucked. Why did it feel so strange to just tell Gaara about what happened? 

“Was school okay?” Gaara pried, and Naruto stopped again to think about his answer. 

“Y-yeah. Just school, y’know? Same as last year.” He shrugged, dismissing the lingering thought of Sasuke’s face that kept appearing in the back of his mind like a damn disease. 

Gaara nodded slowly, not buying Naruto’s words, but not questioning them either.

Naruto sighed, hating this feeling that was building up in his chest, but unable to come up the words that Gaara was trying to get out of him. 

 _“Why did you leave?”_  

He had been turning that question over in his head until it made him dizzy. There were so many things he had wanted to say in response, but how could he? He’d started over. This was his new life, and he much preferred it to the toxic, drama-filled whatever he’d had with Sasuke. He’d wanted Sasuke for all the wrong reasons, and up until now, he’d thought he’d wanted Gaara for all the right ones. 

But just one look, one stupid question, had Naruto reconsidering all of the decisions he’d made for himself in the past three years. How was that even possible?

 

* * *

 

“Ugh! Please, harder! Don’t stop! Go deeper! Ah! Ah!" 

This was getting annoying.

Sasuke moved his hips faster, concentrating harder than usual to feel everything he could so that he wouldn’t go soft mid-thrust.

It was late Friday, or rather, early morning Saturday. He’d finally taken the Club Locust bartender up on his not-so-subtle offer. They went to the bartender’s apartment, which, luckily wasn’t so far from the club. However, if he’d known that the man wouldn’t take a second to shut the fuck up, he’d never had agreed to this.

He held the brunet’s head down until his face was nearly suffocated into the mattress. The sounds were muffled now, and it seemed like the bartender was getting off on being slightly choked, so at least that was a win.

Sasuke threw his head back and continued to push himself into the man as deep as he could go. Each thrust sending him closer now that the man’s shrill voice was turned down to a minimum. He was close. It wouldn’t take much longer now. 

He bit his lip and gripped onto the man’s hair. He could feel the strands threatening to pull from the scalp, but it didn’t stop him. He snapped his hips forward, more powerful this time, hitting as deep as he was capable until he felt himself release into his condom. 

When he pulled out, the man was laughing and drooling onto the mattress. He hadn’t even noticed that he’d made him cum; likely much sooner than he’d released himself.

It didn’t matter. He was ready to go.

He stood up from the bed and pulled the condom off. He tossed it into a bin that was either the trash or the laundry. He didn’t care. The brunet would figure it out sooner or later. 

He found his pants and briefs easily enough and slipped them on before the brunet had time to collect himself.

When he did, Sasuke was halfway through buttoning his wrinkled shirt. 

“You’re leaving?” He asked, and Sasuke was almost baffled at the accusation in his tone. As if this would ever be anything else.

Sasuke glared at him, shutting down any ideas the man might have had about continuing anything with him. 

The brunet deflated, shrinking into his sheets without the will to protest after receiving such a cold look. 

Sasuke reveled in the quiet. _Finally,_ he’d thought while grabbing his keys and wallet.

Moments later he was out the door of the shabby apartment and making his way to his car. 

He felt ill. Something about rolling around in bed with a faceless stranger made his stomach turn. And yet, he’d been so frustrated all week; he’d craved some form of release. The last time he’d taken a stranger, it was month ago, and he remembered feeling similarly unwell. 

He checked his phone and sighed at the mundane notifications, relieved that none of them were from Sai claiming that Sarada was skipping sleep for another ridiculous reason.

She’d been sleeping at her bedtime lately, claiming that she didn’t want to be late for school. She’d loved it, this year, more so then the last. For hours she’d come home and rave about the new friends she was making and her homeroom teacher, who was hilarious and made class fun and _God_ , he wanted to punch something.

 

* * *

 

“Hey best friend, what’s eating you today?” Suigetsu said as he came, unwelcome, into Sasuke’s office.

Sasuke was reading over last week’s report when he’d heard his friend enter, and didn’t find it worth it to look up from what he was doing to greet the obnoxious man.

“Not talking today. Okay, cool, I’m used to it,” Suigetsu said as he walked around Sasuke’s desk and looked over his shoulder. He knew that he was getting on Sasuke’s nerves, and was probably enjoying it.

“Hn,” Sasuke turned the page and typed some numbers into his computer. 

Suigetsu leaned over and smelled Sasuke, finally eliciting a reaction. Sasuke moved away and turned to glare at his friend, who was looking down at him with a stupid grin.

“What? You smell good. What is that, anyway? Chanel?”

Sasuke turned and placed the report back on his desk, then turned back to Suigetsu with the same disapproving look. “Are you bored? Do you need something to do?” 

Suigetsu’s grin widened, “I’m always bored. And, not really, I’ve got a ton to do.”

Sasuke wanted to snap at his response, but a deep breath helped calm his nerves. “Then is there a reason why you’re being extra annoying?” 

Suigetsu shrugged. “Well, I saw a familiar face today.”

“Oh, how nice,” was Sasuke’s sarcastic response. He rolled his eyes and turned back to look over the document he’d been updating on his computer screen. Last season’s growth report, there were so many errors he wondered what he was paying his workers for.

Suigetsu continued talking behind him, not caring that Sasuke was only half-listening now. “I had a feeling today would be different, you know. I woke up on time. Shocker, right? I even had time to get a cup of coffee downstairs.”

“And, your point?” Sasuke drawled, turning another page. 

Suigetsu leaned forward; making sure that Sasuke could see him in his peripheral. “Well, I ran into someone I hadn’t seen in a while. You’ll never guess.” 

Sasuke pushed at Suigetsu’s face without looking, not a fan of the way his breath was tickling his cheek. Suigetsu backed off, laughing a bit. He was reminded of the times when they were in University together and Sasuke reacted just the same when Suigetsu had come with _breaking news_.

Sasuke didn’t think this was as charmingly nostalgic as his long-time friend. But his irritation was quickly turning into blatant disregard, because if he knew one thing about his friend, the man wasn’t easily deterred. He was one of few people that were immune to the toxicity in Sasuke’s glare. 

“A cute blond, acting casual, but obviously looking for someone. And I thought to myself, he couldn’t be here for Sasuke, could he? After all this time? What could have happened?” Suigetsu was rambling in his usual dramatic fashion. But, he could see that he’d finally caught all of Sasuke’s attention. He’d stopped, clutching the report in a tight fist while otherwise looking unfazed. 

Suigetsu knew better.

He sighed and walked away from Sasuke’s desk.

“Anyway, he left soon after I came. Never found out exactly what he was doing here,” he said innocently, but Sasuke could read between the lines. 

Aside from Karin, Suigetsu knew all about what had happened those years ago. He hadn’t attended the dinner party, he never did, but he’d felt the hit when their stocks had dropped because of it. Sasuke didn’t have to divulge in much of the details for Suigetsu to put it all together. 

And to make matters worse, the idiot was convinced that Sasuke had fallen in love. He was still convinced, to the point that Sasuke refused to bring the subject up again. 

Sasuke huffed and continued to look down at his report, even if his mind was all over the place. He wouldn’t reveal his excitement or confusion at Suigetsu‘s words.

Why would Naruto be here? And was he looking for him? Why? Why? Why? He couldn’t figure it out. He’d run out of the bathroom last week as if he couldn’t get away sooner. He’d avoided answering any of his questions. He’d gone on to teach his daughter’s class as if nothing were out of the ordinary. So why?

 

* * *

 

Why was he here? 

Naruto wondered that on the way to the tall, golden building in the city; a building he hadn’t stepped foot in in years. He had classes to teach that morning, but he’d still found the time to get there early, walking around outside of the coffee shop he’d frequented back when he’d worked in the area.

“You lost?” Naruto stopped when he’d heard the cheeky voice. He looked up at the silver haired man that was vaguely recognizable. This man, he worked with Sasuke. He knew that much. 

He cursed himself for being caught, but smiled at the man instead of showing his hand that easily.

“Sorry, no. I’m not,” Naruto said, even if he was in a lot of ways lost.

“Don’t I know you?” the man asked as if he already knew the answer. 

Naruto shook his head, “No, I don’t think so.” He swallowed the lump in his throat. This was a bad idea, he realized. What had he expected anyway? For Sasuke to come down so that they could talk; so that he could get some closure. Something like that. He wasn’t sure what he’d wanted out of meeting here, in this strangely fated location, steps away from where they’d first bumped into each other.

The man shrugged, looking at him with his head cocked to the side, a small devious smile spreading over his lips.

Naruto scratched the back of his head shyly. “I should go,” he said, unsure of why he was even saying it to this man, a virtual stranger. 

“See you around then,” the man said like he knew this wouldn’t be Naruto’s last misguided appearance.

Naruto nodded and headed out the door, his mind fogged up as he made his way to the train station that would lead him to his school.

 

* * *

 

Friday came, and Naruto was thankful for the coming weekend. He hadn’t dared go back to the building where Sasuke worked, and he still couldn’t piece together why he’d gone there in the first place. Whatever he would have thought he’d get out of talking to Sasuke, he needed to realize it wasn’t going to happen. 

But, it didn’t stop him from worrying it over in his head. Suddenly he couldn’t help but think about what could have been if he hadn’t distanced himself from Sasuke and Karin. If he’d used the money she’d given him and went to Sasuke to try something different, something _real._ Would Sasuke have accepted him? Would they have become something? At the time, he was so sure that Sasuke had one thing on his mind. But, after that day, seeing him the bathroom looking the way he looked while he demanded some sort of answer to Naruto’s actions, everything he’d initially thought was slowly evaporating. And that was scary.

During the last period, Naruto didn’t have a class to go to. He stepped outside to make a call.

“Hey Naruto!” Sakura’s voice came over the speaker. He could hear her moving around, she was likely at work.

He didn’t say anything right away, and just listened to the noise while he collected his thoughts. He hadn’t told anyone about meeting Sasuke the week before, and he’d thought that was for the better. After closing that chapter in his life, or thinking that it was closed, he hadn’t mentioned Sasuke’s name once. While Sakura was preparing to graduate out of medical school and dealing with the approaching wedding date, he didn’t want to bog her down with news about his past mistakes. But, he couldn’t think of anyone else to call. 

“Naruto?” She asked, her voice distant this time as if she was checking to see if the call was still connected. 

“Yeah, I’m here,” he grumbled, rubbing his eyes while thinking that he hadn’t been getting much sleep lately.

“Oh, good. What’s up?” She spoke cautiously this time. She always did have a knack for picking up when things weren’t as copasetic as they should be. 

“I saw Sasuke,” he said in a low voice, looking around to make sure nobody was around to hear him. He didn’t know why. It wasn’t like anyone here knew about his situation. Even so, his nerves were on edge. 

Sakura didn’t say anything immediately. He knew her silence meant that she needed more information before she had a chance to rip him a new one. 

“During the opening ceremony. He came and I ran into him. I didn’t tell you but, his daughter’s in my class,” he rambled. “I didn’t think I’d see him, at least not so soon. And…” he sighed. “I don’t know, Sakura, my head’s all over the place.” 

“Did you tell Gaara?” she asked and Naruto felt his heart race a little.

“I didn’t.”

Sakura sucked in a breath. The noise on her end had quieted down. Naruto assumed she’d gone somewhere private to talk. But he’d been using the noise as a distraction for his nerves. God, he wanted a cigarette. But he hadn’t smoked since college.

“Why not?” She asked, being unusually patient.

Naruto sighed again, feeling like the more he said this out loud, the worse he felt about it. “I don’t know. I couldn’t.” He could’ve. He should’ve. He knew this. But a part of him didn’t want to.

“Well, what now? Are you going to talk to him? Sasuke, I mean,” she said, this time trying to sound nonchalant. But, Sakura wasn’t as easy going as one might think. Naruto knew that she was freaking out just as much as he was, but that if she showed that side of herself it would only exacerbate what Naruto was already feeling. 

“You don’t think I should, do you?” 

“Fuck no. He is a fucking parasite, Naruto. And, to be honest, I think it’s good that you put that shit out of your life. If you want my opinion, you should just keep what you have going. Gaara’s good for you, and doesn’t come with all that unnecessary baggage.” She sighed after that, and Naruto could see her closing her eyes to tamper down her temper. “But, it’s your life, Naruto. If you want to talk to him or… _be_ with him then—.” 

“I don’t want to be with him,” Naruto said too quickly. Sakura didn’t buy it, but also didn’t take the time to comment on it either. She knew when Naruto was lying to himself. 

“It’s your decision to make. Either way, you can’t hide this from Gaara if it’s really bothering you.” 

“I know,” he said, and he really meant it. It was wrong, and it was only bringing him back into that cycle of deceit that he’d been so desperate to get away from to begin with.

He wished he hadn’t looked up at that moment, but it was the humming of an expensive engine that caught his attention before anything else. It was an innocent glance. It’s not like cars came through this part of town too often, it being a school zone. But how couldn’t he look up? The car had sped into the parking lot with blatant disregard to the low speed limit; Naruto could feel the push of the wind from the vehicle’s exertion. 

But, it was because he’d looked up that he nearly choked on his own breath. 

It was a sleek black vehicle. The windows were tinted, but the driver’s side was down so that its occupant could feel the spring winds. 

“—to go now, but let’s meet up this weekend. I’ve got wedding plans to go over with you anyway,” Naruto caught the tail end, his eyes still fixated on the vehicle and what he could see of the driver. He didn’t want to believe his eyes, but his nerves assured him of who was behind that wheel. 

He clenched and unclenched his fist at his side, doing his best to keep up with the conversation. “Yeah, that sounds good,” he said, voice distant as he stretched around to get a better look without drawing attention to himself. 

“Okay,” Sakura drawled, sounded confused by Naruto’s sudden lack luster response. “It’s going to be okay, you know?” She tried to reassure, thinking that he might be in his head again, but Naruto was still barely listening.

“Mhm, I’ll call you back later, so we can talk about... uh.”

“Weekend. Wedding plans...”

“Right.” Naruto took a few steps to his right, finally able to get a better look.

“Alright,” Sakura said, still sounding uneasy. “Are you—?”

“Sorry, Sakura. I’ve got to go,” he said in a hurry and hung up the phone. He’d apologize to her later. 

He knew he was being compulsive. He knew he should have kept his guard up and went back inside the school to grade papers, because _God_ he hadn’t been on top of anything lately. He knew he shouldn’t, but he couldn’t stop himself. Before he knew it, his legs were bringing him closer and closer to the vehicle. It was as if he’d blinked and suddenly there he was by the driver’s side looking into the car to see Sasuke’s surprised face, which was really just a slightly raised eyebrow.

 

* * *

 

Sasuke had left work early on Friday to pick Sarada up. It was partly because he couldn’t stand being in the office anymore, finding less things about work enjoyable these days, and also because he needed some air. He’d let Sai have the day off, a rare occasion and one he always seemed to regret, but the small part of humanity in him knew that working Sai around the clock wasn’t healthy for either of them.

He sped through, ignoring half of the traffic lights and speed limits, because there weren’t many people on the road past Tokyo city anyway. 

When he’d gotten to the parking lot, he pulled around to the front and parked his car. She’d be out in a few minutes. He didn’t mind waiting; it gave him time to piece things together. Just a few days ago, Naruto had come to his workplace. By now, Sasuke had stopped wondering why. Naruto wanted to talk, possible pick up what had been started in the bathroom or to curse him out and tell him to never speak to him again. Whichever one it was, Sasuke was still unsure. But, was he that turned off by Sasuke? Or maybe it wasn’t Sasuke. Maybe he was turned off by the situation and everything that had went down between them those years ago. Either way, didn’t Sasuke deserve some sort of explanation? If Sasuke were truly honest with himself, he could admit that he’d been in some ways… hurt by what Naruto had done. Confused, because that last night together felt like _something._  

But the worst part of Sasuke was just pissed off. Why the hell would he come to him and then leave like that? Why the hell did he give himself to Sasuke and allow Sasuke to take everything from him, just to take it back? It pissed him off to know that Naruto would leave without evening telling him why. It pissed him off because, dammit, Sasuke had lost a lot too that year. He owed him! He owed him something for making Sasuke feel this way for nothing. 

He felt something move beside him, so he looked without thinking about it, too lost in his own thoughts to have the right mind to disregard what was probably a teacher asking him to move his car. But, when he looked up, he wasn’t expecting to see Naruto standing there, eyes narrowed and mouth half open like he was formulating what he wanted to say.

When the initial shock passed, Sasuke let out a calming breath and turned his eyes back onto the pavement in front of him. Naruto spoke then.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, and Sasuke scoffed at the stupidity of the question. 

“I’m retrieving my child from your institution,” was Sasuke’s bland response. 

Naruto huffed and, for a moment, looked embarrassed by his own line of questioning. So, he changed gears, “Sasuke, what…” he stopped himself. “Never mind, sorry to bother you.” He started to walk away.

“Naruto,” Sasuke stopped him, looking back at him while Naruto turned to face him again. “What do you want?” 

Naruto laughed, looking a bit delirious before he spoke, “What do I want?” He asked incredulously. “Seriously?”

“You came up to me. You must have a reason.” Sasuke pointed out.

“I came up to you because I saw an illegally parked car in front of the school,” Naruto said, an obvious lie. 

Sasuke shook his head, “You came to my work.” 

Naruto’s nostrils flared and his skin was quickly turning red, “I was getting coffee,” another lie. 

“Get real,” Sasuke almost chuckled. 

Naruto crossed his arms and cocked his hip, a habit built from nerves as far as Sasuke could tell. “Okay, fine. Why did you ask me that? Back in the bathroom?” 

It was Sasuke’s turn to play the fool. “Ask you what?” He grumbled.

“You asked me why I left. Why?” Naruto’s shoulders were getting tense. His posture resembled an animal ready for an attack. Sasuke could tell he had his guard up. 

“Because you left without a word, wasn’t it a reasonable question?” Sasuke shrugged, as if the answer to that question wasn’t still eating him from the inside.

“No!” Naruto exclaimed, throwing his arms up in frustration. “It’s not reasonable. It’s not…” he searched for the word, waving his hands frantically. “It’s not _you!_ You’re Sasuke, the rich asshole who sleeps with people and doesn’t care about how it affects them. Someone who cheats on his wife, because he’s too afraid to let people see who he really is; you’re incapable of actually loving anyone, except maybe your own daughter. And, you don’t care! You just take what you want! You step all over people because some jackass told you that you were better than everyone else. But, guess what? I’m not willing to let myself be dragged into your fucked up world because you’re too egotistical and narcissistic to see what you do to people. So, why would someone like that ask me why I left? Why would you even care? Or, I get it; you just want to know that it wasn’t you, right? You want your ego stroked one more time so that I can prove to you that you’re perfect.” Naruto was breathing slightly harder than before, and his face was fully reddened now. 

Sasuke blinked at him, eyes wide from Naruto’s words. Even knowing that that’s how he came across, that that’s the person he’s always presented himself as, why the hell did it hurt so badly to hear them coming from Naruto’s mouth. It felt like the wind had been knocked from his chest, like it was suddenly hard to breathe evenly. 

“You think I would be okay with sacrificing so much, if I didn’t care?” Sasuke said, but the words weren’t supposed to come out. He hadn’t even realized they had. He was looking off, eyes drifting to the sky beyond his windshield. He missed the way Naruto’s eyes widened and the way he lips slowly parted. He missed how Naruto took a small step back, as if a reality he’d never considered had come and hit him right in the face. 

“Sasuke, I—,” he was cut off by the school bell ringing. Students were already coming out of the building towards the bus stop. They hadn’t even realized that other vehicles had come and pulled up around them. 

Sasuke leaned back in his seat, still trapped in his thoughts while Naruto fidgeted beside his car, unsure of what to do or say next. 

It felt like an eternity was spent between them in this moment. Naruto all but gapping at Sasuke, and Sasuke staring listlessly at the exiting students, a part of his brain searching for his daughter, another part trying to compute the feeling that was sinking around his heart.

 

* * *

 

Naruto couldn’t comprehend the feeling that was overcoming him in that moment. He wanted to scream. He felt hot inside and cold like he’d been splashed with a bucket of water. When all of his anger had passed and he’d seen the way Sasuke looked, it was so unlike the obnoxious prick he’d remembered. Still an obnoxious prick, but there was something different. There was something unraveled, like a layer of Sasuke had been peeled away and it’s that Sasuke that he was seeing now. 

“Sasuke, I—,” 

The school bell interrupted his thought.

What was he going to say? He wasn’t sure. He knew that half of what he’d said had been birthed from anger and his own frustration. He knew that Sasuke, deep down, had a heart somewhere. He regretted it. Everything that came out of his mouth, Sasuke didn’t deserve it. Not like that. 

Students were exiting and soon he wouldn’t have a reason to be standing in Sasuke’s presence like this.

He wanted so badly to pull Sasuke out of the car and hug him, apologize for his hurtful words, tell him that he wouldn’t leave him again, tell him that he wanted to try to do it all over. He wanted so badly to that his fingers twitched and his body ached. It wasn’t the right decision to make; he kept telling himself. This was wrong. This was his own wistful thinking based on Sasuke being hurt by his own pride. It wasn’t “Naruto leaving” that was making him look this dejected; it was being left in general.

Naruto kept telling himself this. He tried to rationalize over and over in his head why he shouldn’t just throw caution to the wind and take the step he wasn’t willing to take three years ago. He tried so hard to come up with excuses as to why he shouldn’t be consumed with Sasuke all over again. He tried so hard and in the end, he was paralyzed by his own uncertainty. 

And just then…

“Papa!” Sarada’s voice took both of their attentions. She ran up to the car, gripping the straps of her bag with both hands and smiling brightly at them.

Naruto noticed how different she was in front of her father in comparison to when she was in class. She was typically very quiet and a little standoffish, but still excited about the lessons. In this light, she was beaming, proud to be able to approach Sasuke as his daughter. And when Sasuke allowed Sarada to take his full attention, Naruto was warmed by the soft expression that flashed on Sasuke’s face. It was a relief, maybe to get out of this tension between him and Naruto. 

Sarada stopped by the driver’s side, looking to get into the backseat, but eyeballing Naruto first. 

“Uzumaki-sensei,” she bowed respectfully, a trait only those at this age became accustomed to if they were raised around money. 

“Hi Sarada, have a good day at school?” Naruto asked, because what the hell else was he supposed to say when he was standing by her father’s car in an atmosphere that must have been odd even for a six-year-old. 

“Mhm,” she nodded, and then gave her father a questioning look. When she turned her eyes back on Naruto she didn’t shy away from asking, “What are you and Papa talking about?” 

Naruto let out a nervous laugh, which earned him another odd look from Sarada, “Nothing, just chatting about the weather.” There was really nothing better he could come up with on the spot. Sarada shrugged. While she walked around him to get into the car, he turned to Sasuke, who was distinctly avoiding eye contact by focusing on putting the car back in drive. “Uh, well, have a good day… sir…”

Sasuke spared him a look; most of the hurt in his eyes had vanished. Now, they just looked blank. “Hn,” was all he said. Naruto took a step away and just like that, Sasuke zipped out of the parking lot as fast as he could without mowing down the children.

Naruto watched the car turn out of the lot, then disappear. He let out a heavy sigh, some of the weight from the conversation lifted, but it didn’t take away from the pressure he was feeling in his heart.

 

* * *

 

“Are you and Uzumaki-sensei friends?” Sarada asked five minutes into the drive home.

Sasuke’s hands clenched at the wheel. “No,” he responded shortly. 

“Oh,” she said, and looked out the window for a bit. It didn’t take long for her to come up with a follow up question, “Why was he looking so sad? Did you say something mean to him?”

Sasuke scoffed and shook his head, that damnable feeling with still irritating his chest. “No,” he said, another terse response.

Sarada pursed her lips, unhappy with her father’s lack on enthusiasm, as it was much more bleak than most days. 

She didn’t appreciate the silence, so she kept talking, “I feel like I’ve met Uzumaki-sensei before. Are him and mommy friends?”

Sasuke applied a bit too much pressure on the break as they approached a red light. Sarada jolted in her seat. Sasuke wasn’t sure where to take that. He didn’t realize that it was possible at the dinner party that Naruto and Sarada had met before. The only part of it he’d been present for was Karin’s _impressive_ speech. He was starting to sweat, and he hated that feeling because _Uchiha’s don’t sweat_. 

“I don’t think so,” Sasuke answered as the light turned green. He was careful to ease off the brake this time. 

“So, maybe?” She asked, and now he was starting to get irritated. 

“No. I’m sure they’ve never met.”

“Hm,” she crossed her arms, looking perplexed. “I guess so, but if you don’t know…”

“I said, they haven’t met,” he snapped and Sarada looked up at him as if she couldn’t believe his tone.

He’d never expected to have a daughter. Women were much too sensitive for his liking. His father was lucky for having birthed two boys. He could hardly understand how his own mother dealt with such a stark, unfeeling man. So when he’d had Sarada he decided he couldn’t be rough with her the way his father was with him. So, it was easy to understand why she would be shocked by his behavior.

Up until the past three years, he’d never really been alone with her like this, having left the parenting up to Karin. Sarada had never been around when he was in a mood like this. Hell, Sasuke couldn’t even recall the last time he’d been in a mood like this.

He wanted to apologize, but he was too tense to get the words out. He just sighed and kept his eyes on the road. He hoped that she would drop it there. They pulled up to another light, and while Sasuke was considering running through it, he heard her small voice in the back. 

“I was just asking,” she pouted. “I feel like I’ve met him before, I just can’t remember.”

Sasuke grit his teeth and twisted in his seat to face her, “What the hell do you want me to say? Hm? I told you no. Why the hell does it matter? Just drop it.”

Sarada’s eyes were wide now and her mouth was quivering. Sasuke gave her a scornful look without realizing. He wasn’t used to this and it was so damn frustrating. Having to deal with a child, having to deal with these fucking emotions, it was making his skin crawl.

He turned away from her, facing the road again because he couldn’t trust what would come out of his mouth next. 

They continued the ride in relative silence. Every now and then he could hear soft whimpers behind him and it made him feel even worse. 

Once they got home, Sarada got out of the car first and slammed the door behind her. He slowly followed her lead, watching as she ran to the door, unlocked it and disappeared into the house.

He let out another sigh. He was usually so in control of his emotions, but right now? It felt like everything was happening around him and he was just another useless moron wondering through life without a strong enough head on his shoulders to lead him anywhere. 

When he got inside he heard the door to Sarada room slam shut. He assumed she’d locked it too. 

He threw his keys onto the nearby accent table and trudged over to the couch like his legs weighed a ton. He collapsed there, wondering if he should reconsider letting Sai take the day off. He wanted to blow off some steam, whether that meant finding a new person to fuck or finding an underground fight club where he could pound his fists into some undeserving prick. But, he didn’t do either of those things. He just sat back on his couch, staring up at the ceiling while letting Naruto’s words replay in his head.

 

* * *

 

By the time Naruto got back to his apartment, Gaara was already there. It was nearing 8PM, and the sun was already set. Gaara had been staying over more frequently than not in the past few months, so Naruto had expected his presence.

He was sitting at the computer typing up something, probably work related. 

“Hey,” Naruto said, though his voice was admittedly distant.

Gaara peeked at him, then turned back to his computer screen. “Hey,” he said back. They’d been in a weird space ever since that dinner. Gaara knew something was up with Naruto, and Naruto knew that Gaara knew. He still couldn’t bring himself to find the right words to say, even if they were glaringly obvious.

Naruto tossed his bag onto the floor, something Gaara had always hated, but never said anything about. He walked over to Gaara and slipped his hands onto his shoulders, moving them down to his chest. He leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on Gaara’s temple. 

Gaara twitched at the contact, but didn’t pull away from it. He stopped typing and eyed Naruto from his peripheral. 

“Are you horny?” Gaara asked in a voice that was both bland and oddly sexy.

Naruto shrugged, “Sort of,” he said, his voice sounding a bit slurred now. He’d hoped that he would’ve sobered up by now, but he could feel his muscles loosening up again from the alcohol in his system. 

“You’re drunk,” Gaara easily detected, taking one of Naruto’s hands in his. 

“Mhm, a little,” Naruto clarified and leaned further down to kiss at Gaara’s neck.

Gaara moved away this time after the first kiss and out of reach for the second. Naruto paused and looked at him while Gaara turned in his chair to fully face him. 

“What?” Naruto said, vaguely aware that he was a tad dehydrated.

“You stink like alcohol,” Gaara said in an even tone. 

Naruto raised his nose at him and scoffed, “So?” He went in to kiss Gaara’s lips, but Gaara got up instead, leaving Naruto kneeling by the seat and looking confused. 

“What are you trying to do, Naruto?”

“What do you mean?” He asked while he collected himself and attempted to stand up straight.

Gaara didn’t answer. He crossed his arms and glared at him instead. 

“What?” Naruto snapped, a bit of his earlier frustrations coming out unwittingly. 

Gaara looked away, his eyes narrowed dangerously at the wall. Naruto sighed and ran a hand through his increasingly messy hair.

“What do you want from me?” Naruto asked quietly. He wasn’t even sure if Gaara is the one he wanted that answer from. But it had come out anyway. 

Gaara grit his teeth. He walked over to the desk and closed his laptop. Naruto didn’t realize he was packing to leave until he was already making his way to the door.

“Where are you going?” 

“Back to my place,” Gaara answered. 

“Why?”

“Because, I don’t want to be around you,” Gaara snapped, each word sharpened carefully with enough edge to stick Naruto right where it hurt the most. 

Naruto looked taken aback. He was hurt, but not surprised by his words.

He stood in the middle of his apartment, listening to the sound of Gaara leaving and unwilling to look at him as he went. He felt ashamed. The only one he had to blame was himself. Sakura was right. He needed to tell Gaara, even though he’d known that from the start. Why was it so difficult?

He pushed the heels of his hands into his eyes, rubbing them in an attempt to get his shit together.

He needed to figure out what he wanted. He needed to talk to Sasuke one more time. Just one more time. They could finally end this for good. He could go back to his life with Gaara, because it was really getting somewhere. He could forget all about those old feelings. He had to. He’d already made this decision. He’d already given up on the childish excitement Sasuke had given him. He just needed one chance to clear everything up, so that he could put things in order.

He repeated this to himself, trying to calm his heart and come to terms with his decision. But, the more he did it, the more it felt wrong. But there was one thing he knew for certain.

They needed to meet again.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooooh, what did you think? :>
> 
> Thank you all for reading!! I hope you're exciting to see what happens next. I'd love to hear your thoughts~ I'm hoping I'll have the next chapter out by next week, and that is considering that my head isn't up my ass. 
> 
>  
> 
> Until then~


	3. Down the Rabbit Hole

Monday after school, Naruto was standing outside of that same tall, golden building he’d sworn he wouldn’t come back to. But, he’d already made up his mind about talking to Sasuke. 

Inside, he already knew where to go. He hit the “up” button on the elevator and waited idly to get on. He was used to the people in this building looking at him like he was a creature from off of the streets. But, in his teacher get-up, he supposed he passed. They disregarded him in his blue slacks and orange tinted collared shirt. He rolled his eyes at the idea that he in some way fitted in. 

When the elevator arrived, his palms started to sweat. He rubbed them against his slacks as he stepped on with a few other waiting workers. He tapped his foot as he went up, dreading the time in between each stop towards the top floor because it only forced him to think about what he was going to say. 

He needed to be honest. He needed to tell Sasuke that whatever was happening, this old “Cat and Mouse” game, it needed to end here. He was with Gaara, and that was more than enough for him. He needed to tell him and then leave so that he could continue the life he’d set out for himself.

The elevator stopped on the 30th floor. He realized he was the only one left as he stepped off of the ride. 

The office looked the same as it did three years ago. He supposed he hadn’t expected it to look any different. He did, however, wish they’d hired a new front desk security. It was the same man he’d met back then, with the mean face and strawberry-orange hair.

He walked up, head tall on his shoulders as he approached the man who was eying him curiously, but not with the same distaste from before.

“Yes, can I help you?” 

Naruto squinted at him, then at his name take. _Jūgo_. It was definitely the same person. “Uh, I’m here to see,” he cleared his throat, almost calling Sasuke by his given name. They were real horny for _“Uchiha-sama”_ around here.“I’m here to see Uchiha-sama,” it felt strange saying that, but the man nodded and handed him a clipboard.

 _That was easy_.

“Sign in, please,” he said, voice gruff and tone uncaring. Naruto stared at him for a moment before he accepted it.

He wrote his name and the current time, and then eyeballed Jūgo again. He couldn’t help himself, “You don’t remember me; do you?” 

Jūgo’s face scrunched. He looked as if he was trying to decide whether to respond with hostility or if Naruto was a big client that would earn him a big apology. He opted with the latter, “Oh! I’m sorry,” he said sheepishly while standing to show Naruto his full stature. “I’m off some days, so I don’t see everyone who comes in. My apologies.” He bowed deeply and Naruto’s mouth twisted. The childish side of him wanted to laugh at the overly enthusiastic reaction. 

“It’s fine,” Naruto said slyly, not wanting to stir up the same confrontation that had occurred last time he’d tried to see Sasuke at his office. 

Jūgo smiled, still looking a bit nervous, and handed Naruto a Visitor’s Badge.

“Thank you,” Naruto said, clipping it onto his shirt.

“No problem,” he paused to look at the name Naruto had written, “Uzumaki-sama,” he bowed again. When he straightened he gestured to the glass doors, “Just walk towards those doors. They’ll open automatically.” He bowed again. 

A chuckle slipped past his lips, but Juugo didn’t seem to notice. Naruto grinned after that and followed Jūgo’s directions. 

As he walked through the glass doors he was shaking his head at the interaction. He approached the secretary at the desk just beyond the glass doors. She looked up at him with a kind smile. 

“Good afternoon. Name, please?” 

“Uh,” Naruto was a little thrown, but he quickly righted himself, “Uzumaki… Naruto.” 

She nodded eagerly, “And who are you here to see?”

“Uchiha Sasuke…” he answered with a tad bit of uncertainty hiding there. She didn’t notice, and swerved in her chair to pick up the phone on her desk. She held down a button and spoke into a receiver. 

“Uzumaki Naruto is here to see you,” she waited for a response, and when she didn’t get one right away she pressed the phone closer to her ear as if that would help. 

A few awkward seconds passed where she looked from Naruto to her phone, an inkling of suspicion in her eyes. But, it seemed she was getting the response she was waiting for because she smiled and nodded at the phone. 

“Yes, of course,” she hung up and looked back to Naruto. “You can go back. Do you know where his office is?” 

Naruto shook his head, “Remind me,” and smiled. 

She seemed to think he was charming enough. She got up from her desk, smiling, and walked around to meet him on his side. She touched him on his arm and nodded her head towards the hallway just past her desk. “I’ll do you one better. Come on,” she said and walked along towards Sasuke’s office. 

Naruto followed behind, looking around at the space that felt more familiar than it looked. At the end of the hall and to the left was Sasuke’s office, shielded by large wooden doors. She walked forward and swung the left door open, holding it for Naruto to enter. 

Sasuke was at his desk. He hadn’t looked up from the papers in his hands. 

Naruto looked back at the secretary and smiled. She smiled back and closed the door behind her. For a second, he’d wished he had told her to wait so that he could run back out the door. But, he wouldn’t run away this time. He had to face this so that he could move on. 

He walked up to the desk, uncomfortable with the way Sasuke was disregarding his presence, but he wouldn’t allow Sasuke to get to him that easily. He stopped a foot away and cleared his throat before he spoke, “Sasuke.” 

Calling his name seemed to work. Sasuke stopped skimming the papers and looked up at Naruto. His eyes were sharp and narrowed. He looked like he wanted to snap Naruto in two. 

“Am I missing something?” Sasuke said, instead of any form of greeting. He placed the papers on his desk and laced his fingers, then pinned Naruto with a glare cold enough to give Naruto goose bumps. 

“I’m sorry?” Naruto asked, because he truly didn’t understand the question. 

Sasuke sighed and leaned in his chair, arms resting at his sides while he accessed Naruto’s appearance.

He spoke after a prolonged silence, “Did I miss something?” He rephrased. “Is there anything else you’d like to say to me? Any other things about my cold personality that you’d like to point out? Anything that you haven’t gotten off your chest, Naruto?” 

Naruto shook his head, “No, Sasuke I—,” he stopped, rethinking his next words. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that to you… back at the school.” 

Sasuke stared at him after that, eyes less piercing now. Naruto didn’t say anything after that, so Sasuke leaned forward again. He picked up the papers he was examining before as he spoke, “If that’s all, then you can go.” 

Naruto opened his mouth, then closed it, then opened it, then closed it. Sasuke was shutting him out. That much was clear. But it wasn’t fair. And even if he should’ve, he couldn’t just drop it.

“So, I say one thing that hurts your feelings and you act like a prissy brat.”

“What?” Sasuke snapped, looking up at him again with another vicious glare. 

Naruto folded his arms and glared back, “You can’t sit there and act like you’re the victim.”

“Oh, I’m acting like a victim, am I?” Sasuke scoffed and shook his head. 

“It’s not like everything I said to you was bullshit.” 

“No!” Sasuke snapped, and Naruto couldn’t recall a time he’d heard Sasuke raise his voice like this. “You’re right. I’m not a fucking moron, Naruto. I know who I am. It’s _you_ who’s confused. I’ve never lied to you about who I am or what I wanted.”

“You’ve never lied?” Naruto laughed at this. “Are you for real? You played with me. I was just a passing…” he couldn’t find the word, or maybe he just didn’t want to say it, so he waved his hand in frustration to finish his thought. 

Sasuke rubbed his temple and leaned to one side of his chair, “You can not possibly think that.” 

“You think you’ve given me reason not to?” 

Sasuke leaned back all the way, this time crossing his arms and mirroring Naruto’s stance. He couldn’t deny what Naruto had said, so he chose another way of attack. “And what about you? You think I’ve done something to you, but you’re the one coming to my office. You don’t want to be _dragged into my fucked up world_ , but you’re the one who’s come to me, not the other way around. Is there something you’re expecting? Because for the first time in my life, I’m confused.” Sasuke stood after that, frustrated. He turned away from Naruto and his desk and looked out the large window at the city below. 

Naruto stopped himself from snapped back his response. This was bad. This wasn’t going according to his plan. Naruto sighed and relaxed his shoulders. He needed to get this under control. 

“Look,” Naruto said, and Sasuke slowly turned to face him. “I can admit that I haven’t been handling this the best. But, you don’t realize how hard it was for me to… to…” _let you go._ He didn’t want to say that, but maybe Sasuke understood without him having to. Some of the anger in Sasuke’s eyes dissipated. Naruto swallowed, because he was feeling this strange warmth in his gut. He continued when he felt like he’d fully collected himself, “I came here to tell you that I don’t want to repeat what happened between us. I’m with someone now, so...” he trailed off.

Sasuke’s jaw clenched, but Naruto had looked away too soon to see it. Sasuke didn’t comment on it, he just looked back down at the city and let the words settle in. 

Naruto cleared his throat, nodding to himself because he was able to say what he’d come here to say. He didn’t feel as good about it as he’d hoped, but it was a decision he’d made. He was glad he’d stuck to it. 

“Okay well, that was all,” he said and turned to leave. 

He hadn’t heard or seen Sasuke move. So he didn’t have time to react when he’d felt Sasuke’s hand grip his wrist. He was pulled and turned until his ass was pressed against the desk. Then in a flash, Sasuke’s lips were on his. 

He was shocked at first. Who wouldn’t be? But his conscious mind flew out of the window too fast for him to catch it. He allowed Sasuke to press his body into his, and didn’t protest when Sasuke’s lips parted and coaxed his open. He moaned when he felt the way Sasuke’s tongue swiped at his bottom lip and shivered at the way his teeth griped onto it next.

Sasuke let out something like a growl and it made Naruto’s insides twist. 

Sasuke pushed against him until he was forced to sit on the desk. He spread his legs and Sasuke fit perfectly in between them. They were both aroused, and the feeling of their growing erections touching beneath the fabric of their slacks was enough to send stars to the backs of Naruto’s eyes. Sasuke reached down and grabbed his ass with both hands, pulling Naruto closer so that he could feel more of him. Naruto would’ve been ashamed if he remembered the way he’d ground against him in response.

Naruto couldn’t figure out a proper place to put his hands, so he gripped onto the edge of the desk so tightly that his knuckles turned white. He was moaning against Sasuke’s lips, rubbing himself against him desperately, and all too aware of the way Sasuke rubbed back. What he wasn’t, however, aware of, was the door opening behind them. 

“Holy shit,” that same cheeky voice Naruto had heard the other day was back.

Sasuke slowed down, and allowed himself to calm down as he separated from Naruto. He wasn’t ashamed of the bulge in his pants the way Naruto was, who slid from the desk and turned his body so that it couldn’t be seen.

“Suigetsu,” Sasuke grumbled spitefully. 

“Oh, no, don’t stop. Please.” Suigetsu said, laughing between each word. “I haven’t gotten any in a few days, but this is just as good,” he nodded encouragingly and leaned against the doorframe as if he was prepared to stay for a show.

Naruto gave Sasuke a lingering look, while Sasuke wiped his lips with his fingers and gave him a look of equal weight. They exchanged these looks filled with new unanswered questions and feelings for a few seconds before Naruto turned away. 

Without another word, he walked past Suigetsu out the door.

 

* * *

 

“Phew, would you look at that? Sasuke _gettin’ some at the office_. Reminds me of the good ol’ days,” Suigetsu said, walking over while Sasuke walked around to sit back at his desk.

He rubbed the wrinkles down on his shirt and ignored the aching feeling between his legs in favor of glaring at his untimely friend. 

“What do you want?” Sasuke asked and attempted to resume what he’d been working up with these statistics, but was too distracted by the lingering sensation in his trousers. 

“You would have fucked him right here if I hadn’t walked in, wouldn’t you’ve?” Suigetsu said, ignoring the question. 

Sasuke gave him a leveled look, one that Suigetsu read as _of course_ , even if it was meant as _drop it._  

Suigetsu sighed, “He is pretty hot, I’ll give you that.” He looked back at the door, as if he could picture him standing there, then back at Sasuke. “You don’t suppose he’d be interested in giving me a go at him, would you?” He grinned. 

Sasuke’s eyes narrowed. He didn’t look up this time, because he wouldn’t give Suigetsu the satisfaction. “Back off,” was all he managed, then he turned a page even though he hadn’t actually been reading.

Suigetsu’s grin widened. He shrugged, “Oh well. I came in here for a reason, believe it or not. While you were rutting with your blond lover in here, I was working up a deal with Sarutobi. I think he’s ready to sell.”

Sasuke sighed, “Finally,” _something pleasant for a change,_ he wanted to say, but didn’t. 

“See!” Suigetsu raised his arm dramatically while Sasuke got up to follow him. “Aren’t you happy you have me as your lovely partner?” He patted Sasuke on the back once they were side by side. 

“Shut up,” Sasuke said, an expected response.

Suigetsu chuckled and shook his head. He looked down and checked Sasuke’s privates. “Huh, you’ve gotten good at that.”

Sasuke looked down, the bulge no longer visible. He smirked, eliciting another laugh as they exited the office. 

Suigetsu’s stupidity was his worst and best trait.

 

* * *

 

When Sasuke got home, Sarada was still not speaking to him. It’d been three days. As soon as he’d gotten in, she ran from wherever she was to her bedroom, shut the door and locked it. 

He rolled his eyes. As much as he cared for her, his patience would never be that of a saint’s.

He spotted Sai as he walked towards the kitchen. He was cooking dinner, some sort of steak-something. Sasuke never bothered to ask. Sai looked up at him when he entered. He sat at the table and a glass of wine was immediately placed in front of him. Sometimes, he appreciated Sai almost enough to thank him.

But he didn’t. He took a long sip and while he swallowed the tangy liquid, Sai spoke up. “Long day at work?”

“Hn,” Sasuke took another sip, then rested the glass on the table. 

“Sarada-chan told me not to tell you that she thinks you are an asshole,” Sai looked like he wanted to laugh, but he didn’t. 

Sasuke almost laughed with him. He wouldn’t bother asking where she’d learned that word. “She’s not the only one.” 

Sai stirred the dish, then turned to give Sasuke a curious look. “Another run in with Naruto-san?” 

Sasuke wondered if he was that easy to read, or if Sai was just oddly perceptive. Whatever the case, he didn’t answer. 

Sai shrugged. It wasn’t like he truly cared to begin with. Sasuke was sure that he was only interested because it was something different than what he was used to coming from Sasuke. 

Sasuke stared at the dark liquid in his glass. He tasted the wine on his lips and it brought his mind to what had happened back in his office. He hadn’t been thinking when he’d done that, and a part of him fully expected Naruto to slap him for it, or something equally dramatic. But, Naruto melted into him in a way that was all too familiar. It was an exciting feeling. Suigetsu wasn’t wrong. If he hadn’t walked in, Sasuke didn’t know how far he would’ve gone. And the thought of bending Naruto over and fucking him on his desk was more than just a little tempting.

He readjusted himself in his seat. The tightness between his legs was coming back. 

But, he didn’t think there would be a repeat of that. Naruto was in some sort of relationship. 

Sasuke rolled his eyes at the thought.

Must be _some_ relationship to have him moaning against him like that. Sasuke smirked. 

And then he stopped himself because he was becoming far too imaginative. 

He downed the rest of his wine and got up from the table. Sai spared him a glance, but didn’t say anything when Sasuke left abruptly. 

He went to his room for a shower.

He needed to go out and relieve himself, because with the images running through his head, a cold shower wasn’t going to cut it.

 

* * *

 

When Naruto had gotten home on Monday, he’d just slept because he couldn’t think of anything better to do. The next day, he got to school early and sat at his desk staring at the empty rows in front of him.

Gaara hadn’t come around since their little argument, but he had texted Naruto two days ago to say that he was going to be away the next week on business. Naruto hadn’t responded. 

He rested his elbows on his desk and rubbed his tired face with both hands. 

He couldn’t believe himself. He couldn’t believe that the moment Sasuke caught him; he couldn’t get away. Or, even more terrifyingly, he didn’t want to. It had felt so amazing to be in those arms again, to feel that body against him, to touch each other like they were touching for the first time. Fuck. 

Even now he wanted to go back and relive that moment just to recall how it felt when Sasuke’s lips first connected with his. 

He groaned loudly. 

It was stupid of him to think that something would come out of talking to Sasuke that wasn’t completely toxic and wrong. And, it was stupid to think that he was capable of doing anything reasonable when it came to Sasuke.

He hadn’t realized how long he’d spent sitting with his head in his hands. But he’d heard shuffling in the hallways, and soon some students began filing in. He looked up, straightened his shirt and rubbed his eyes as to not look so physically and emotionally drained. 

He smiled at all the incoming faces, one of the last being Sarada. He was proud to say that he wouldn’t let his smile falter at her appearance just because she held a strong resemblance to her father. 

At the end of class, he was surprised to see Sarada lingering behind. She was staring down at her desk, and she had been through the entire lecture. He walked up and was even more shocked that she didn’t respond to his hovering presence. 

He gave himself another mental pat on the back, because he realized then that he actually was able to separate the child from the parent. Even if it was a little upsetting to think about how he and Sasuke ended their last meeting while he was standing in the presence of his daughter. 

“Sarada,” Naruto called her name, and when she looked up he kneeled down by her desk to get at her level. 

“Hm?” She asked, still looked dejected. 

“Is everything okay?” 

“Oh, is class over? I should go before I’m late,” she started to get up, but rose a hand to stop her. 

“It’s okay, I’ll walk you to your next class so they know you were with me.”

Sarada looked unsure, but after taking a long look into Naruto’s eyes, she settled back in her seat and nodded. 

“What’s going on?” He wondered if it had anything to do with Sasuke, and hoped that it didn’t. Maybe she had trouble with another student. That would be a lot easier for him to handle. 

“I got into a fight with Papa,” she mumbled, and Naruto wanted to roll his eyes. _Of course._

“What’d he do?” _Because it was obviously his fault._

She shrugged, “He yelled at me. But, I was only asking him a question. He’s never yelled at me before.”

Naruto smiled fondly at her. He supposed Sasuke would hide his dastardly side from his daughter. He could see why. She looked just like him, but had a sweetness to her that couldn’t possibly have come from Karin. Not that he had much against the woman, but from what he’d experienced, _cute_ and _sweet_ didn’t fit with Karin’s persona. Though there was a definite hardness to Sarada that could only have come from her father. 

He sighed, “Sometimes parents do that because there’s things they’re going through. It’s not you. It’s them. Trust me.”

When he finished she managed a small smile. Naruto was relieved to see some of the sadness fade from her expression.

The bell rung then, and Sarada got up with her bag, so Naruto took a step back to give her some room. He turned to walk with her when her voice stopped him.

“I think I’ve met you before,” she said and Naruto felt something in his stomach move.

He turned back to face her and offered a nervous smile. “Really?” He feigned ignorance. 

“Mhm,” she nodded. “I feel like it, but I don’t remember,” she looked down, eyes squinted at her feet as she tried to recall when she’d seen his face or heard his voice. It all felt very familiar.

Naruto scratched the back of his head and looked to the side, hoping to find some answers there. “I doubt it.” He looked back and attempted his best grin. “I think I’d remember such a pretty face,” he shrugged after that. Sarada blushed shyly and looked away. 

“I guess so,” she mumbled. Naruto nearly let out a sigh of relief, but he didn’t want to give himself away. If there was ever a time to have that conversation, now wasn’t it.

“Okay, come on,” he said to quickly change the subject before she had time to think more on it. “You don’t want to be too late, or else your sensei will scold me too,” he pinched her shoulder and nodded towards the door. 

She looked up at him and smiled. Luckily there was no more talk of her near recollection on the way to her next class.

 

* * *

 

When Sasuke got home after work that Tuesday he rolled his eyes at the size 11 shoes by the door. 

“Great,” he drawled as he moved through towards where he could hear voices in the kitchen. 

When he turned to look he stopped at the sight presented to him. Or perhaps he was never supposed to see his brother hovering over Sai, or his hand in Sai’s hair, or the way Sai’s face was flushed as if they’d been doing what he’d done with Naruto just the day before.

Sai’s eyes locked with his and Itachi sensed his presence before Sasuke had a chance to announce it. 

“What is this?” Sasuke asked, not bothered that his brother was fooling around with someone who wasn’t his wife-to-be, or that that someone was Sai. He was more so bothered that whatever this was had went right over his head. 

Itachi backed away and Sai promptly exited the kitchen. He licked his lips before he spoke, “Oh hello, Sasuke. I was waiting for you.”

“And while you were waiting, you decided to stick your tongue down Sai’s throat?”

Itachi chuckled at that, like he actually found it funny, and shook his head. “Oh that? I’ve just been quite bored recently.” 

Sasuke sucked his teeth at that and walked out of the kitchen to sit on his couch. “I can tell. Your fiancé isn’t enough fun for you?” 

“Plenty.” And Itachi left it at that. He took a seat in one of the chairs beside the couch. Sasuke grabbed his tablet from the ottoman and rested against the couch while he scrolled the news. 

Itachi stared at him and Sasuke knew he was staring but he didn’t say anything because he really just wanted him to leave. And after a moment of accessing Sasuke, he spoke.

“You’re in a good mood.”

Sasuke glanced at him, then back at the tablet. Itachi didn’t care for being ignored, but he knew Sasuke’s game. He’d act like he was unbothered, but Itachi knew everything about Sasuke, down to each minuscule expression. It was impossible to get anything pass him. 

“He must be attractive.”

“Shut up,” Sasuke said almost out of habit. 

“Oh… don’t tell me you actually like him?” 

“Fuck off,” another knee-jerk reaction. 

“ _Fuck off.”_ Itachi mimicked. “You always tell me to fuck off when I’m right.” 

“It’s nothing like that. And I tell you to fuck off when I want you to fuck off,” Sasuke clarified. Itachi chuckled and shook his head. His little brother really was too cute for his own good. Even being in his mid-thirties, he was still that five-year-old boy in Itachi’s eyes; sulking because Itachi wouldn’t play with him. 

“So you won’t tell me?” Itachi pried, though with his bleak expression it was hard to believe he actually cared either way. 

Sasuke looked at him again, “If I did, I’m sure you’d be very pleased with yourself.”

“Mmmh, maybe,” Itachi smirked and Sasuke scowled in return.

Sarada came out just then and walked around to where Sasuke sat on the couch. She must have known Itachi was here, because she wasn’t expressing her usual excitement at the sight of his presence.

Sasuke looked to her, letting his tablet fall on his lap as he waited for her to speak. It had been days after all. 

“Um,” she looked away, embarrassed. “Papa, I forgive you for yelling at me,” she started out with. Sasuke would’ve smiled if Itachi weren’t sitting next to him looking like a smug bastard. “And I’m sorry for ignoring you,” she went over to the couch and leaned against it to kiss his cheek, then left with a small wave to Itachi.

Sasuke watched her go, while Itachi spoke up, “She reminds me of you when you were that age.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes, “How charming.”

Itachi shrugged and the room fell into silence. 

After reading a full article, Sasuke couldn’t help but ask, “Are you sleeping with Sai?” 

Itachi looked at him, having been preoccupied with observing the photos sitting on the nearby table. “Not yet,” he answered.

Sasuke thought about this, “Does your fiancé know you sleep around?” It was an assumption. Maybe it was just Sai, but he himself was in that same position just a few years ago, so it was an easy leap to make.

“She does, but we share our partners from time to time.” 

Sasuke grimaced at the idea, but nodded slowly at the information nonetheless. 

“Then… do you know that you want to be with her?” 

Itachi didn’t hesitate, “Yes, I do.” 

Sasuke nodded again, forgetting the tablet in his lap. He asked, “How?”

Itachi smirked again, “Sasuke. Don’t tell me you’re asking for advice.” 

Sasuke’s face twisted in distaste. He looked back at his tablet, “Forget about it.”

“No, don’t. Please, I’d love to be your brother every once in a while.” Sasuke rolled his eyes, but he smirked despite himself. Itachi continued, “And to answer your question, I know because there isn’t anyone else that makes me feel alive the way she does.” Sasuke looked at him for a long time after this, until something broke inside of him.

His lips cracked into a small smile until an uncontrolled laughter bubbled out of him. “You can’t possibly be serious,” he said while trying to contain himself. Itachi’s expression didn’t change. And it was that same calculating expression that made Sasuke laugh even harder.

He shook his head once he began to calm down. “That’s ridiculous,” he told him. 

“Are you telling me you’ve never felt the same?” Itachi asked. Sasuke opened his mouth but nothing came out. “Hn,” Itachi smirked. 

Sasuke looked away, back at his tablet. His skin felt hot and an image of Naruto was lingering at the back of his mind. He refused to continue this conversation any longer. Itachi was okay with that, because he’d won and Sasuke knew he’d won. 

“Well, this was fun, but I should get back,” Itachi said and Sasuke didn’t reply. 

His mind was somewhere else.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! I'm back with Chapter 3~ Let me know what y'all think! 
> 
> Also, I'm realizing that these chapters are short in comparison to the first story. I hope that isn't bothering anyone. I want to keep it fluid and to the point with this one. I don't know... 
> 
> Any who~ I'll be posting chapter 4 soon. I'm shooting for next week, so definitely look out for it if you're excited to see what happens next!
> 
> Until then~


	4. Fight or Flight?

Naruto left school on Friday with a headache. He’d skipped on hanging out with Sakura the weekend before, so he wasn’t surprised that he’d gotten a call from her on the way to the train station.

“Yo,” he said once the call connected.

“Dick, you didn’t even call me to cancel,” were Sakura first words. Naruto couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Sorry, I had a crazy week.” That was an understatement. 

“Oh yeah, tell me about it when you get here.”

Naruto smiled, “How do you know I’m not busy?”

“Because I happen to know that Gaara doesn’t get back until tomorrow, so you better bring your ass.”

Naruto felt his stomach shift to make room for his sinking heart at the sound of his name. There was no debate anymore. He had to tell Gaara that he’d messed with Sasuke. He was admittedly afraid. He wanted to say he was afraid of losing Gaara, but the truth was, he was afraid of hurting him more than anything. 

“Okay,” Naruto said, unsure of what else he could say over the phone when they were about to meet. He told her he’d be over in twenty. It would take about that long to get from his side of town to hers. They hung up, and at nineteen minutes, he was off the train and around the corner from her place.

He opened her door with his spare key and nearly shouted at Lee’s face which was only inches away. “Jesus!” Naruto grabbed his chest and started to laugh at his own reaction. “What the hell are you doing, man?”

Lee beamed at his presence, “I heard the door opening, so I came to take a look.” He wrapped Naruto into a tight, bone-crushing hug and didn’t stop until Naruto roughly parted his back in return. “It’s nice to see you my friend! It has been too long.”

Naruto smiled and nodded, “Likewise.” 

Sakura came to the entrance after that and grinned at him. “Hey cutie!” She ran over and enveloped him in a much softer embrace.

He hugged her back and scrubbed his face in her neck to make her laugh.

“Back off!” She giggled and pushed him away. “I’m a sworn woman now,” she said, holding her engagement ring up to his face. It was probably the hundredth time she’d done it, but he didn’t mind. He was happy for her.

He kissed it, and she pinched his nose in return. 

“Ack! Okay I give.” 

“Twerp,” Sakura grumbled fondly, then led the three of them back to the living room. 

Lee walked off towards the bedroom, claiming he was in the middle of his mid-day push-ups. Naruto and Sakura took refuge on the couch.

“So,” she began, “Tell me about this crazy week.”

Naruto sighed, the weight in his gut he’d been trying to ignore was heavy again.

“You’re going to be mad,” he half-joked and she half-smiled in return. 

“I’m not making any promises.”

Naruto eyed her, wondering if it really was a good idea to share what was on his mind. Sakura was his best friend, but the last time he’d been in this similar situation they’d nearly lost their friendship because of it. Either way, who else was he supposed to turn to at this point? God knows his father would only have Hallmark shit to say.

“I kissed Sasuke,” and maybe he shouldn’t have started it out like that, because Sakura’s mouth flew open in pure shock.

“You what?” More shock. 

Naruto scratched the back of his head. “It wasn’t just a kiss...”

“I’m sure it wasn’t,” Sakura said in a breath. “Whoa... you weren’t kidding when you said crazy, huh?”

Naruto smiled, even if what he was feeling right now was nothing to smile about.

“Well, okay. Okay cool, yeah. When?”

“I went to his office, and I know it was a stupid idea, in hindsight,” he said before she could. “But, I wanted to tell him that we shouldn’t repeat what went down between us.”

“And in doing that... you... repeated what went down anyway?” 

Naruto’s face fell into his hands, because saying it out loud sounded so much worse than he would’ve thought.

After a moment he looked back at her and cocked his head to the side. “Why aren’t you biting my head off? I was expecting you to bite my head off,” he said, pointing at her cautiously. 

She sighed. “Look,” she said, and got up to go to the kitchen for a drink. She continued, “I realized something after our last conversation.”

Naruto got up to follow her. “And what is that?” he asked and sat at the bar while he waited for her answer.

“That you’ve been in love with him since we were in school, and there’s literally nothing I can say to stop you from acting on those feelings,” she shrugged and poured two glasses of orange juice. She slid one over to him, and placed the jug back into the fridge.

Naruto couldn’t say anything to that. He was stuck, and his face felt unbearably hot. What was he supposed to say, anyway? He’d considered that idea more times than he could count over the years. And after a while, he’d convinced himself that he didn’t feel that way towards Sasuke. He convinced himself that, instead, he’d just undergone a very strong form of infatuation. Sasuke had come into his life when he’d thought things couldn’t get worse, when he’d been craving something new because everything around him reminded him of Neji and Kiba. And then, it turned into something so much more than that. But, he was never able to admit to himself that all those unusual feelings were love.

He’d loved Neji once. He loved his mom and his dad and Sakura and all his friends. But this feeling he had with Sasuke? It didn’t feel like any of those loves. It felt uncontainable. It felt strong and passionate in ways he hadn’t thought was conceivable. It felt like a drug and when he’d seen him for the first time it was like withdrawal.

But love?

His heart was speeding up, and he drank some of his orange juice to calm its heavy rhythm.

Sakura watched him while he was consumed by his thoughts. She felt bad for him in a lot of ways, because being in love with a man like Sasuke, from what she could tell, wasn’t an easy feat.

She sighed and walked around the counter back to the living room. Naruto was aware enough to follow her.

They settled back on the couch and remained in that same tense silence.

When Naruto worked it out in his head, he looked at Sakura with a determination in his eyes she hadn’t seen in years.

“Okay,” he said, “Say I am in love with him. What am I supposed to do about it?”

She almost laughed as she answered, “How the hell am I supposed to know?”

Naruto whined, closing his eyes and throwing his head back against the couch like a spoiled child, “Because, I can’t figure it out by myself! And this… I don’t want the same thing to happen to me.”

“What do you mean?” She got comfortable now, leg propped up on the cushion and body half turned towards him. He sat his juice to the side and mirrored her position. 

“Last time it felt like I had all of these feelings,” he held his hands to his shirt over chest, “all on my own. Like, I was the only one being suck in by him. I don’t want to fall in love alone and he’s just…” He dropped his hands, frustrated now when he thought about it. “He’s such an asshole, you know? Completely emotionally challenged and if he’s backed into a corner his first instinct is to be a prick.”

Sakura chuckled and nodded, a better picture of Sasuke forming in her head. Naruto’s feelings were even clearer the more he spoke. This wasn’t just some childish fantasy; she knew that now.

“Are you going to tell Gaara?” She asked, and Naruto turned rigged.

He knew he should, but a part of him didn’t want to be judged too harshly if he told her about his apprehension. Sakura was never very good at holding her tongue when it came to the stupid decisions he’d made in life. And it seemed like he made them more often than not.

“Well,” he started, looking nervous now. “About that…”

 

* * *

 

Sasuke wanted to damn his brother to hell. He’d planted these insidious thoughts in his head about  _love_ and like-nonsense, and now it was tormenting him in the strangest ways. When Itachi had left, he’d tried to get off with a man he’d met at a nearby bar, but he was put off the moment he’d started the conversation. He’d ended up leaving the bar, angry and horny.

He wanted to see Naruto, like some lovesick child, he wanted to see him so badly his skin itched. It wasn’t like this before, he knew that. Was Itachi’s tongue that powerful? Just hearing his words and allowing them to resonate had turned his world upside down in an instant. He wasn’t himself anymore. It frustrated him, because he liked who he had been. He was strong willed and uncaring. He was intelligent and noncommittal. And now?

He hated how he wished he could go back and redo those months he’d spent with Naruto. He wished he had never met him and at the same time, he wished he could meet him again. It was fun, at first. Naruto was just some stupid kid, easy and convenient and so good in bed.

But when he’d thought about those times, the ones he’d written off as pointless, stupid encounters with the blond, he remembered feeling like this was something more. Playing video games, watching TV, eating that trashy ramen which Sasuke would not admit was slightly addicting...

He’d felt… happy... “ _Alive_.”

He stopped himself there, getting too carried away with his thoughts. He noticed he’d typed the word “happy” into his document countless times. Instead of deleting the words, he turned the display off on his computer and rested his head in his hands.

Work felt pointless. He was sitting in his office, and had been for the past seven hours. He hadn’t spoken to anyone as he entered, too distracted by his brain overloading to manage a proper greeting.

He’d sit here for the next hour or so, doing his best not to let him mind wander too far, and hopefully by the end of the day he could get those blue eyes, tan skin and ridiculous blond hair out of his head.

 

* * *

 

For the first time in a long time, Naruto felt light as he made his way home. Telling Sakura about what had transpired between him and Sasuke was hard, especially when he’d gotten to the more unsavory portions, but it did help put things into perspective. He’d made a tough decision, and the minute he’d walked out of her place he sent Gaara a text.

_We need to talk_

He’d forgotten his phone in his back pocket after that and went along his way. Next, he wanted to meet Sasuke again. 

Once he was home, he sifted through his drawers for a slip of paper that he’d previously been ashamed of keeping for so long. At the time, he didn’t know why he didn’t just throw it away, but it was like something inside of him told him not to. If he were to believe it on fate, it could be that this whole mess was inevitable from the start.

He’d found it tucked under the knickknacks he’d stored, and he’d like to think he hadn’t done that in an attempt to hide the paper, but he knew himself better than that.

That note Sai had slipped into his wallet all that time ago was still there. On it, the numbers neatly scribbled across were a tad weathered and barely legible, but he could still see it as if they had been written just yesterday.

Sasuke’s number. It was a long-shot. He could have easily changed it in the last three years, but Naruto had a feeling that that wasn’t the case.

He typed them into his phone, hesitating when they were all there on his screen. It didn’t stop him from initiating the call.

It rung three agonizingly long times. Each one produced a strange pressure to his heart, but he didn’t chicken out. He wouldn’t.

Just as the fourth ring started he could hear the lines connect. Suddenly, his throat felt dry.

“Yes?” was the bland response.

Naruto swallowed to help wet his throat and hopefully encourage himself to produce actual words. Even though his silence spoke for itself.

“Naruto?” Sasuke questioned, likely wondering if he was correct in his speculation.

Naruto replied shortly after that, “Yeah, it’s me.” He sat heavily onto his bed, looking at a wall and imagining Sasuke’s face there.

“Would you prefer to sit in silence or did you have something you’d like to say to me?” Sasuke said, not in his usually snarky and annoyed tone, but more like he was genuinely curious and a little bit exhausted.

Naruto sucked in a breath and said, “Yoyogi district. Block 54, building 8. Will you come?”

He didn’t hear anything for a while, and Naruto hoped that Sasuke hadn’t just hung up, because he wouldn’t put it past him.

So, when Sasuke did respond, Naruto’d felt an overwhelming sense of relief, “Give me an hour.”

And then the line disconnected. Naruto dropped his phone next to him and slumped to lay back on his bed. He watched his ceiling fan go around until he felt his phone buzz.

He lifted it to check the notification.

He’d expected a response from Gaara, but it was just some advertisement about 30% off at a store he had only shopped at once.

Naruto dropped it again and turned over to nestle in his sheets. His covers smelled like Gaara, and it felt wrong to think about. He didn’t want to hurt him, but playing this game was fruitless if he’d already come to terms with what he’d wanted. Or what he thought he wanted.

 

* * *

 

Sasuke parked and walked a block to Naruto’s place without having much in mind. But, once he stood outside the apartment building he couldn’t help the hesitation he felt. What was this going to be? Another back and forth, he wondered. Was this another excuse for Naruto to talk about what he didn’t want? Or, for once, could they figure out what he did, in fact, want? And was it Sasuke? He didn’t know. 

So, when he got to the door, he stared at it with an amount of apprehension that he wasn’t used to.

But, he was here, so he’d sent Naruto a quick text to let him know he was outside. He put his phone away and looked off, trying to quell his disturbed nerves and remember who he was. He was Sasuke Uchiha, not some quivering fool.

“Excuse me,” a raspy, deep voice spoke up, and Sasuke turned to face it with an unwelcome look.

“Yes?” He asked, because he didn’t recognize this redhead, but he was giving Sasuke a look that told him that he recognized him.

The man scrunched what would have been his eyebrows in a curious fashion. He looked to the building, then back at Sasuke, a heat there that could only be conceived as menacing.

“What are you doing here?” This man asked and Sasuke was thrown into a defensive state that he wasn’t quite prepared for. His muscles tightened around his jaw as he assessed this man.

“Why should I tell you?” Sasuke asked, hands deep in his pockets to keep himself from putting his hands on this stranger. He really hated when people came up to talk to him at random. It didn’t help that this man was giving him a look like he wanted him dead.

He ignored his question, though Sasuke hadn’t really expected him to answer. He didn’t, however, think that he’d ask, “Are you here to see Naruto?”

Sasuke’s eyes widened. He turned to fully face this man and narrowed his eyes after the shock passed. “And if I am?” He challenged.

The man bristled, his demeanor turning into that of an animal. You could see the protectiveness radiating from him, screaming at Sasuke to back off. Whoever this man was, he was connected to Naruto in some way.

The man barred his teeth and Sasuke opened his mouth to tell him where he could put his misplaced curiosity when the front door to the apartment building opened.

They both turned and watched as Naruto’s wide eyes shifted between them. They stopped on the redhead and Naruto spoke his name with a voice of pure confusion, “Gaara?”

Naruto took slow steps towards him, and this close up Sasuke could see the sweat beading at his brow.

Naruto looked at Sasuke once again, a fear in his eyes that told Sasuke everything he needed to know about this man.

_“I’m actually seeing someone...”_

And now, all that animosity made sense, but it didn’t help Sasuke relax any to know that this  _Gaara_  saw him as a threat. And where the hell had he recognized him from? Sasuke had to wonder if there was ever a time that they’d met.

“What is he doing here?” Gaara asked, eyes glaring at Naruto now.

Naruto didn’t answer right away. Instead, “I thought you weren’t getting back until tomorrow?”

Gaara’s eyes turned more vicious, and Sasuke could see that Naruto was regretting his response. “Why?” Gaara barked. “So that you could sleep with him while I was away? Is this why you’ve been acting so strangely, because you’ve been getting fucked behind my back?”

Naruto looked utterly shocked, in a way that told Sasuke that this man had never spoken to him like this. Naruto looked at Gaara like he didn’t recognize him.

“That’s not...” Naruto didn’t know what to say.

Gaara whipped his head to Sasuke, “Why are you still here?”

Sasuke nearly snarled at him, but he kept his composure the best that he could.

“I was going to tell you,” Naruto said before Sasuke could interject.

Gaara, who was holding a duffle bag, gripped the strap tighter in a way that made the blood rush from his fingers. “Come on,” he used his other hand to grab Naruto’s wrist.

Sasuke saw the way Naruto’s face twisted in pain and reacted quicker than his mind had processed. He grabbed Gaara’s shoulder, stopping him from dragging Naruto into the building.

Gaara glared back at him, “Let go.”

“You first,” Sasuke said, cocking his head to the side. He hadn’t been in a fight since he was in high school, but that didn’t mean he was above getting physical if it was necessary.

“Fuck off,” Gaara spat out with enough venom to burn Sasuke’s skin.

“Fuck you,” Sasuke returned.

“Wait!” Naruto ripped his arm from Gaara, who had been squeezing tighter and tighter each second that went by. He rubbed it absently while he spoke, “Gaara, come on. Sasuke, just... give me a second,” he sounded exhausted.

Sasuke sucked his teeth. This Gaara fellow was an asshole and didn’t deserve an explanation from Naruto. He knew it was just his protective mind overthinking it, but he was convinced that whatever this was, it didn’t compare to what Sasuke felt for Naruto.

And then he paused.

He nodded at Naruto while his mind worked over what he had been thinking. He barely registered the evil look Gaara sent his way or the apologetic one from Naruto as they entered the building. He, instead, was assessing this strange warmth that was bubbling within him and, even more concerning, the suffocating feeling that filled his chest.

Panic.

 

* * *

 

Naruto walked with Gaara to his apartment, feeling the energy coming from him like it was fused with the air around them.

When he unlocked and entered his place, Gaara paced inside and threw his duffle to the floor.

Naruto held his hands up in defense, “I wanted to tell you Gaara...”

“Tell me what?” Gaara cut in.

“That...” Naruto trailed off, frustrated that this is how he’d have to have this conversation. “I want to break up,” he didn’t feel good saying it, but he felt better than he’d expected. And something about Gaara’s earlier reaction aided in that.

Gaara’s narrowed eyes became even colder. He ignored Naruto’s admission in favor of asking, “How long have you been seeing him behind my back?”

“I haven’t been— “

“Don’t lie to me!” Gaara shouted so loudly that Naruto jumped, shoulders bunched and tensed. He had never seen this side of Gaara, and if he were being honest, he hadn’t expected it either. Gaara always seemed so confident and put together, especially when they’d first started seeing each back when Naruto had still been messing around with Sasuke. So why now? Why was he looking so enraged like he just wanted to go back outside and rip Sasuke in two? It didn’t make any sense.

Once the atmosphere settled, Naruto let out a slow breath and spoke calmly, “I haven’t been seeing him behind your back. It wasn’t like that,” he tried, but it didn’t quell the intensity in Gaara’s eyes; once a brilliant emerald color, now a dark and murky kind of green.

“Then what was it like?”

Naruto gulped, unsure of how to answer this question. He looked away, avoiding the way Gaara’s eyes were boring into him.

When Naruto couldn’t respond, Gaara grit his teeth. His fists were balled tightly at his sides and when Naruto managed to look back, he could see them shaking.

Gaara opened his mouth, but then stopped himself. Naruto could see the way he rethought his words, sucking them back in and stuffing them deep inside himself.

As it turns out, Gaara didn’t have anything else to say, while Naruto wasn’t able to find the right words. They just stood in silence, one fuming, the other fidgeting awkwardly in the tension. This isn’t how he’d wanted to end things. He didn’t want it to be like this. He wanted to continue some sort of friendship, but it felt impossible now. How could he, when Gaara was looking at him like he was the filthiest creature on this planet?

Gaara huffed, walked past Naruto to grab his bag, then out the door. Naruto didn’t look back and only jumped when he’d heard the door slam behind him. He felt like he wanted to cry. There was heat just beneath his eyelids and his mouth quivered uncontrollably. But instead of succumbing to that sudden rush of emotion, he rubbed his face and let out a frustrated sound. It only made him feel a little bit better.

 _It’s okay. This was the right decision,_  he tried to reason in his head. He hoped that this wouldn’t be something he’d regret by tomorrow. He hoped that when he went back downstairs, Sasuke was still there waiting for him, because if not then it would have all been for nothing. He hoped that whatever they felt for each other would mask this hollow feeling forming in his chest from having felt Gaara’s rage in a way he’d never expected to. He hoped until he’d made his way down the stairs of his building.

But once he was outside, an overwhelming sense of despair seemed to consume him. It gripped at his feet and tugged his entire being down until it felt like he’d been pulled underwater. He couldn’t breathe.

The streets were empty, save for the few pedestrians whom paid him no mind. They were  _empty_. Sasuke was gone, and that, more than the feeling that rose when Gaara had walked out in a huff of anger, felt like his heart was being squeezed of all its blood. It left him feeling helpless as he stood there for longer than he would remember once the moment passed. He just stared at the street in front of him, wondering if this feeling would ever pass.

 

* * *

 

Sasuke knew he was a coward. As he got into his car and turned on the ignition, a disgusting amount of shame and regret was pulling at his guts.

He’d just been standing on the sidewalk as Naruto and Gaara went inside, and then he wasn’t. He’d gotten into his car so quickly, it felt as if that moment between Naruto and  _Gaara_  had all been an illusion. Maybe that’s how he would’ve preferred it. At least then, he wouldn’t have to think about what he was really doing. How he’d stood there and was just shy of having a panic attack because he couldn’t wrap his overly analytical brain around the prospect of _actually_ being with someone. Because, when that fucking redhead confronted him, all Sasuke could think was how much he wanted to pull Naruto to his side and claim “mine!” like a fatuous 3-year-old. And that terrified him. He could pretend like he hadn’t chickened out, like he hadn’t felt, for the first time in his life, that he might be in over his head.

He punched his steering wheel with a tight fist before grabbing at his hair just as hard.

He didn’t remember it being this difficult to marry Karin. It wasn’t amazing, but he also didn’t feel this much pressure or anxiety because of it. She was already his from the start, or at least, that’s what his parents told him. Naruto was different. Naruto was real.

Now, sitting in his car just a block away from Naruto’s home, it was becoming increasingly harder to rationalize why he’d felt so compelled to head for the hills.

But by now Naruto had probably come out and had seen that Sasuke didn’t stick around.

Sasuke had made his choice; he had to stand by it.

This wasn’t for him. The fact that he couldn’t even face Naruto was proof enough that it wasn’t meant to be. He decided that was good enough as he put the car in drive and took off towards his home.

 

* * *

 

Luckily when he’d gotten there, Itachi wasn’t anywhere in sight. He was tired and, at this moment, didn't think he could stand one of his brother's unannounced visits. Sai was in the living room cleaning and Sarada was on the couch with a sandwich in hand, watching some cartoon.

He kicked his shoes off and headed over to sit next to his daughter. She tore her eyes from the program to look at him. Even to a child Sasuke probably looked as rough as he felt.

He couldn’t get the tension from his eyes, and his hands kept clenching and unclenching because of his bundled nerves. She stared for a while, then held out her sandwich to offer him a bite.

He slowly looked down at it, grabbed it, took a small bite, then handed it back. Sarada looked pleased.

He chewed and swallowed before he offered a small “thank you”, then sat back and stared at the screen. Sarada resumed watching, while Sasuke simply saw colors moving, he couldn’t even comprehend what they were saying.

“Did you have a rough day?” Sai asked as he went around them with his arms full of clothes towards the laundry room.

“Hn,” Sasuke grunted, unwilling to give him any more than that.

He wondered what Naruto was thinking. He wondered what his face looked like when he walked out and saw that Sasuke wasn’t there. He wondered if he’d pick up if Sasuke called him.

“Are you okay?” Sarada asked, and Sasuke realized that he was glaring at the screen like he wanted to make it blow up. He forced himself to soften his features before he turned to his daughter.

“Yes. I’m fine,” he relaxed his tense shoulders as he said this and hoped that he was convincing enough.

She nodded and turned back, taking another bite.

Sasuke sighed. This wasn’t good. He felt like he’d made the biggest mistake of his life.

But no. A bigger mistake would have been sticking around. He couldn’t date Naruto. He couldn’t date someone who was related to his daughter. He couldn’t date anyone, period. Maybe he liked Naruto. Maybe he’s known that all along. He could admit that it might even be the closest thing to... love... he’d felt for someone outside of his family. But, he just wasn’t built for that sort of thing. Sure, maybe it would be nice for a while, but ultimately it wouldn’t work. He was sure of that. And Sasuke wasn’t a failure. So, why do something that he knew would fail in the end?

He kept on telling himself that, until the hole in his chest slowly started to fill up.

 

* * *

 

“Naruto?”

He turned when he heard the voice, but couldn’t quite see who it was. His vision was blurry, and the music was so loud it was starting to make his head throb.

“Hey, you okay?” It was Shikamaru. He’d gotten closer and was resting a hand on Naruto’s shoulder to keep him steady. Naruto hadn’t even realized he was leaning so far to the left that it looked like he might fall over.

Naruto blinked, getting rid of some of the fogginess on his pupils caused by the five consecutive shots of whiskey. He always forgot he couldn’t hold his liquor. 

But, despite the way his heart ached, Naruto grinned and said, “Shika! What are you doing here?”

Shikamaru leaned back, Naruto having gotten too close while he was talking. And he reeked of alcohol.

“I’m out with some coworkers,” Shikamaru said, nodding to the small group sitting at the table not too far from the bar. “What are you doing here?” He asked in return. But what he was really asking was  _why are you shitfaced_? And  _didn’t_   _Gaara get home today_?

“I’m getting drunk!” Naruto cheered, holding up the water the bartender forced on him. He looked at it, surprised by the clear liquid, then said, “Heeey, I didn’t order this.” He glared and sloppily turned towards the bartender.

Shikamaru sighed, because now the bartender was looking at him. He said loudly over the music, “Your friend’s cut off.”

Naruto grit his teeth, leaning over the bar now and flailing an arm, “I’m right here you know! I can hear you!”

The bartender rolled his eyes, idly wiping a glass as if he was overly used to belligerent patrons. “Good,” He said smugly. “You’re cut off. Go home.”

“You—” Naruto nearly reached out and grabbed him, but Shikamaru caught his arm and pulled him back before he had the chance. 

“Naruto! Come on. I’m taking you home.”

Naruto whined, “I don’t want to goooo.” 

Shikamaru huffed, forcing Naruto’s arm over his shoulder. “Yeah, yeah. Did you and Gaara have a fight or something?” He asked while sending a text to his work group to tell them about this drunken emergency.

Naruto went silent, looking down at his shoes now like he wanted to cry. 

Shikamaru managed to get him out of the bar and onto the sidewalk. He looked down at Naruto’s watery eyes and instantly knew this wasn’t something he could handle on his own. He sent a quick text to Ino and Sakura, then slipped his phone back into his pocket.

“We broke up,” Naruto said after a while, his voice cracking. 

Shikamaru nodded, shocked, but knew it wasn’t the time to express such a sentiment. A cab was approaching, so he waved it down and waited for it to stop in front of them. 

They slipped inside, Naruto mostly by the help of Shikamaru. 

“Where to?” The driver asked, and Shikamaru gave him Ino and Chouji’s address. Their place was closer than Sakura and Lee’s. 

Once the car started moving, he turned to Naruto, still slumped and looking listless beside him, and asked, “What happened?” 

“I don’t love him,” was Naruto’s short answer. 

“Okay,” Shikamaru said slowly, nodding as he was trying to understand where this was coming from. Their relationship wasn’t perfect, but it seemed okay enough. He wouldn’t have expected Naruto to admit something like that, or for it to be the cause of a break up. 

Naruto whipped around, suddenly full of energy, and said, “I don’t love him! I don’t love him, Shika! I don’t even know why I don’t. He’s perfect.” He said the last part quietly. Then he continued in a louder than comfortable voice, “He’s easy to handle, and we have enough in common! And he doesn’t run away like some fucking coward!”

“Could you keep it down, please?” The driver asked, and Shikamaru gave him an apologetic look that he could see in his rear-view mirror.

Shikamaru spoke to Naruto calmly, hoping that it would subdue him a bit. “Look, we’re almost at Ino’s place. Just calm down and we can talk about what happened there.”

“I thought you were taking me to another bar!” Naruto whined loudly. The driver glared at them, but didn’t say anything this time.

“No way. You’ve definitely had enough. Now can you please keep quiet so that we don’t get thrown out?”

Naruto stared, eyes droopy while he tried to glare at Shikamaru. He gave him a slurred “ffffine,” then rested his head against the window for the remainder of the ride.

Shikamaru noticed five minutes in that Naruto was sniffling, and when he looked over Naruto’s eyes were leaking terribly. He placed a hand on Naruto’s knee, hoping it would help. Naruto whimpered and let out more tears, but didn’t say anything. 

They’d stopped in front of Ino and Chouji’s place another five minutes later. Shikamaru went around to help Naruto out of the cab before he handed the driver a few bills (and a little extra for the trouble).

Naruto’s eyes were red and puffy, and he looked even more dead to the world than he had when Shikamaru had approached him at the bar.

As they approached the door, Ino had opened it before they’d made it all the way there. She gasped and ran up to Naruto as soon as she’d seen him. She was barely four months pregnant, and her belly was only slightly rounded, but Shikamaru still didn't know if she should be moving around so much.

“Oh my God, Naruto. What—?” They stopped, and she held him by his cheeks with both hands to examine his face. She turned to Shikamaru, “What happened?” 

Naruto giggled, waved a hand in the air, and cheered, “Baby, you’re looking at a single man!”

Shikamaru helped Naruto inside after that. Both him and Ino were rolling their eyes at how much Naruto was giggling.

They’d gotten his shoes off and dragged him over to the couch. Almost as soon as he’d hit the cushion, Sakura showed up. 

“What the hell?” She said, walking over to examine him in the same way Ino had moments ago. 

“He was like this when I found him,” Shikamaru said with a shrug, though his eyes were just as concerned as the girl’s as he watched the way Naruto lulled on the couch. 

“Did he say anything?” Sakura asked. 

“Just that he’s a single man,” Ino offered.

“Him and Gaara broke up,” Shikamaru added.

Ino gasped, though Sakura made a face like she was confused, but not surprised.

Shikamaru caught on, and said to her, “You know something?”

Sakura looked at him, then Naruto, who appeared to be knocked out with the way his head was slumped back against the couch. She sighed, running a hand through her hair while she thought things over. After a moment she said, “He told me he was going to break up with him today. I didn’t think—”

“Ha!” Naruto cut in, shooting up straight in a way that made him look like he might throw up. He didn’t, luckily. He looked to Sakura, apparently having heard everything, and said, “I actually got dumped two times today.”

Sakura sat down beside him, eyes wavering as she took in his swollen eyes and reddened skin. She rubbed his shoulder while she spoke, “What happened? I thought everything was okay?” 

“What’s going on?” Chouji came in, looking disoriented as if he’d just been woken up. Ino shooed him, and he instantly knew to be quiet. He joined the group, concerned as the rest of them as he took in the state of his friend. It wasn’t much different than all those years ago when Naruto and Neji had split up. He’d hoped this wasn’t the beginning of another downward spiral.

“He left...” Naruto whimpered, then leaned to the side until his head was comfortably resting in Sakura’s lap. She ran her hand through his hair, instantly reminded of the times she’d done this back when they were in high school.

“Gaara left you?” Ino asked, and Naruto sniffled and shook his head.

“Sasuke?” Sakura asked, knowing the answer before he’d nodded to confirm it.

Ino held a hand up as if she were in a classroom getting the teacher’s attention. They all looked to her, save for Naruto who was looking in and out of it. She asked, “Okay. Hold on. What?”

Sakura shook her head and half-explained, “It’s a long story.”

Ino scoffed at that, “Well, I’m sure it is! What the hell. I thought you were done with that guy? Wasn’t he like...  _so_  three years ago?”

Naruto laughed a dark, self-depreciating laugh that made everyone in the room feel even more gloomy by the sound of it. He added in the midst of it, “More like,  _he’s_  done with  _me_. God! I’m a total fucking idiot.” He sat up again, swaying and forcing Sakura to hold onto his shoulder to keep him steady. He continued his rant that started in a sneer, but slowly increased in volume, “That bastard left! He left without saying anything and I’d just... I... I let Gaara go, because I thought this was some sort of stupid fucking fate. But it’s not! It never was! It was more like a curse! And he shows up at my school looking so fucking smug. And-and he had the nerve to ask why I left! Ha! And I fell for it... all over again I fucking fell for him! I actually thought he cared! How could I possibly think he’d want me for more than just an easy fuck?! How fucking stupid do I get?!” Naruto was crying and shouting through his words now.

Everyone wore a face like they wanted to bundle him in their arms, but no one knew whether he was fragile enough to break if they’d tried. They just listened quietly as he let it all out, even if his words were jumbled and out of order, even if it was only getting more and more confusing; they listened because they knew that was what he needed.

“I stuck my neck out for him! And he was there, he was right there! So why did he leave me? Doesn’t he realize? Doesn’t he—" he was starting to heave, and Ino ran to a closet to grab a bucket.

She’d gotten back just in time. As soon as she sat the bucket down, Naruto grabbed it with both his hands and sullied it with what felt and looked like all of his insides.

Shikamaru sighed and shook his head, unsure of what to make of this. He was also mildly dreading what he had to look forward to when he got back home. Temari was already a firecracker. Add being six months pregnant and a brokenhearted younger brother, he was simultaneously wondering if he should stay the night here. Maybe keep Naruto company too.  _Poor guy_. He couldn’t help but think it, though Naruto wasn’t one for pity, so he wouldn’t dare say it aloud.

Everyone seemed to be thinking it, and Sakura looked nearly as bad as Naruto. Her eyes were tense, and her lips were pinched into a thin line.

 _Fuck that guy_ , she kept saying in her head. Along with, _fuck me_ , because she felt so bad for encouraging Naruto. She wouldn’t have if she’d seen this coming. But it didn’t make sense. From what she could tell, it seemed like this Sasuke guy wanted to be with Naruto just as badly. She wished Naruto was a little less drunk. She wished she could ask him to explain in greater detail exactly what had happened.

As soon as Naruto was finished, Ino grabbed the bucket with a grimace and handed it off to Chouji.

“Hey!” Chouji complained, but she shut him up quickly with a sharp glare. He sighed, grabbed it and carried it along to the bathroom.

When she looked back, Naruto was slumped, obviously passed out. Sakura pulled him back and pushed him to lay fully on the couch. She got up, and bundled his feet, setting them gently on the other end.

Ino was the first to break the silence after that, “I’m gonna kill that guy.”

Sakura added, “Not if I get to him first.”

Shikamaru rolled his eyes and placed a hand on each of their shoulders. He said, “Look. This sucks. But, hopefully this just means that he won’t make the same mistake again.” 

Sakura huffed and crossed her arms, maneuvering her shoulder so that his hand would fall off before she spoke, “If you hadn’t noticed, he already made the same mistake. And he’s ten times worse because of it.”

Ino sucked her teeth and shook her head at Naruto’s sleeping form, “It’s four years ago, all over again.”

Shikamaru groaned at the subtle mention of Neji and Ino gapped at him for it.

“What?! We were all thinking it,” she argued, and no one could say she was wrong.

Chouji came back with the bucket and sat it on the floor quietly bellow Naruto’s head.

They all shared a look, but none of them could say anything that hadn’t already been said. So, they turned their heads back to Naruto, hoping there was something they could do before he’d end up going down the same path he had all those years ago.

 

* * *

 

“You look like hell, Sasuke.”

And he felt like it too. It didn’t help that he’d fallen asleep on his couch and had the misfortune of waking up to Itachi’s face inches from his.

He felt his eye twitch as his mouth curled downward.

Itachi smirked and poked at Sasuke’s head as if it was to encourage him to get up. Or maybe he thought Sasuke would smile and giggle like he would when he was five and thought that stupid shit was charming.

But that was thirty years ago, and he really didn’t want to be touched this early in the morning.

He swatted at his brother’s hand while he pulled his legs around to sit up straight.

Itachi, unbothered as always, sat down, allowing Sasuke a moment to adjust to the morning light leaking through the living room blinds. 

“I’m starting to think you were lying about getting married,” Sasuke grumbled.

Itachi sat back, and Sasuke noticed the steaming mug of coffee in his hand. It brought his attention to the extra mug on his coffee table, hot and fresh like it had just been prepared.

Itachi followed the eye movement and added, “You do have quite the servant boy.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes, but grabbed for the coffee in near desperation. He took a sip before he said, “You should know,” in a disparaging tone.

Itachi shrugged and Sasuke wrinkled his nose at him.

“Why are you here? I don’t see you in three years and suddenly you’re here every other day,” Sasuke grumbled.

Itachi chuckled at that, crossing his legs and throwing an arm on the back of the couch like the smug bastard he was. He said coolly, “Is that a problem? You didn’t miss your older brother while I was away?”

Sasuke rolled his eyes, “No. I preferred it.”

“Why do you look so sad?”

Itachi’s question was so abrupt, Sasuke choked while he was sipping his coffee. He felt it nearly come out his nose, and it burned in a way that forced him to cough into his hand. His eyes were watering and Itachi looked entirely too amused.

“What?!” Sasuke said harshly, mostly irritated that Itachi thought his suffering was amusing.

“You appear  _forlorn_ ,” Itachi leaned a bit closer, narrowing his eyes and peering them so deeply into Sasuke’s that Sasuke could feel his cheeks warming. He hated when Itachi was like this. It was always hard to tell if Itachi was truly concerned or if he just wanted to make Sasuke squirm.

“You don’t know anything,” Sasuke puffed his cheeks and looked away.

Itachi’s eyebrows pinched as he asked, “Did it not work between you and whoever it was you were so over the moon for just a few days ago?”

Sasuke sputtered, mouth gaping at Itachi for his choice of words, “Who said I was over the moon? Get real. It’s nothing like that.”

Itachi smirked and teased, “You were asking me for love advice.”

Sasuke grit his teeth, “I was asking why you were trying to fuck my assistant.”

Itachi laughed fully at that. Sasuke sulked, but refused to get worked up.

“Okay, so then you won’t tell me?”

“There’s nothing to tell. Where’s Sai and Sarada?” He asked, swiftly changing the subject.

Itachi didn’t even blink as he responded, “He took her with him to run errands.”

Sasuke eyed him from his peripheral, “Is that why you’re sticking around?” He wondered if he was just waiting for Sai to get back. He wouldn’t put it past him, especially after what he’d walked in on.

Itachi chuckled and shook his head, “Don’t be a fool Sasuke. I’m concerned about my little brother.”

“He’s fine and he doesn’t need your concern.”

“What happened?”

“Nothing happened.”

“You were sleeping on the couch.”

“So, what? I didn’t feel like walking to the bed.”

“You look pale.”

“I was born pale.”

“Not that pale.”

Sasuke scoffed and shook his head, “You’re being annoying.”

Itachi rolled his eyes, “You always think I’m annoying.”

“Maybe because you are.” He got up after that, went to the kitchen and fished around for a glass to pour some wine in. It was barely 10 in the morning, but he didn’t care. Even if Itachi did look a bit worried watching him pour his glass and down half of it in the first gulp.

“Is that supposed to convince me that you’re okay?” Itachi questioned, eyeing the glass with equal concern.

Sasuke huffed, wrangled a hand through his hair, and said, “I’m not trying to convince anything. It’s none of your business.” 

“It doesn't help if you keep these things bottled up.” 

“You’re one to talk,” he took another long sip.

Itachi smiled at that, knowing Sasuke had gotten his inability to open up in part from their father, but also because Itachi was notoriously one to hold things close to his chest. Sometimes it was like pulling teeth getting Sasuke to tell him what was on his mind, but he also knew his brother. He knew that Sasuke wouldn’t be waking up on his couch with dark rims under his eyes, wearing day-old clothes and drinking wine before noon if what was on his mind wasn’t really bothering him. Even if Sasuke was quite the actor.

He finished his wine, and filled it up again. He took another sip and asked Itachi, “Why are you pressing this?”

“Because you’re my brother, and I’ve never seen you look heartbroken.”

“I’m not heartbroken,” Sasuke hissed, eyes glaring harshly now. He squeezed his glass so tightly, Itachi thought it might crack.

“Then tell me what you are, then?”

Sasuke growled, having had enough, but also feeling like he was dying to tell him, or somebody, or anybody! Because the guilt and dread and overall sickness was still there from the night before. And he was drinking because he thought it might help, but it was only making it worse and giving him a mild stomachache.

“I’m pissed off,” he admitted and Itachi’s eyes widened a fraction.

“Pissed off why?” Itachi asked while leaning against the island counter. Sasuke did the same, propping himself with his elbows and burying his face into the palms of his hands.

“I made a mistake,” he said, voice ruffled as he spoke against his hands.

Itachi was able to hear him clearly enough, and dug deeper, “What did you do?”

Sasuke sighed, finally lifting his face and presenting it to his brother. It wasn’t the same face he’d worn just seconds ago, masked and passive. This was Sasuke’s face, naked and full of everything he’d spent years perfecting the ability to hide. Even Itachi had a hard time searching his expression in its normal state. But this? It was full of sorrow, regret, irritation, anxiety, and something else, something twisted and so unlike Sasuke that Itachi wasn’t sure if he was able to put a word to it. Love would be too simple. Passion, maybe. _yearning_  felt most accurate.

After allowing Itachi to see him so clearly, Sasuke said in a nearly choked voice, “I let him go. I shouldn’t have, but I didn’t think I could do it.”

“Do what?” Itachi questioned and Sasuke groaned.

He finished off his second glass and left it behind on the counter while he made his way back to the couch. Itachi followed, sitting in the armchair instead of joining Sasuke on the sofa.

Sasuke laid flat across, not too affected by the alcohol, but flustered as he allowed himself to think about what he’d done all over again.

“I’ve never been with anyone, Itachi,” Sasuke said lowly, almost a whisper.

Itachi smiled and pointed out, “You were married.”

Sasuke glared at him, “You know that was different.”

Itachi conceded to that, raising his hands and saying, “Yes well, I guess you didn’t have much time for actual relationships.”

“I didn’t want an actual relationship,” Sasuke grumbled.

“But you do now?”

Sasuke sat forward, looking both confused and angry, “No! That’s the point.”

“What’s the point, Sasuke?” Itachi sounded weary.

Sasuke opened his mouth, but realized he wasn’t sure what to say. So, after a second he closed it and looked away.

Itachi took this as his chance, “If you’re afraid of committing to someone, because you don’t think you’re cut out for it, then you’re a fool.”

Sasuke glared at him, about to make some sort of retort when Itachi added.

“If you like this person so much, what do you have to be so afraid of?”

Sasuke grit his teeth, eyes wavering as he thought that over.

"You've always been so smart. But I wonder if maybe you think that you know yourself better than you actually do." 

"What the hell is that even supposed to mean?" Sasuke grumbled. 

Itachi shrugged and got up, “Maybe you should give it some thought? Anyway, this was nice as always." Sasuke didn't understand what was so _nice_ about these visits. 

But he didn't say anything. He didn’t look up either as Itachi walked around the couch towards the door.

Just then, it opened and Sarada came shuffling inside, followed by Sai carrying two stuffed brown, paper bags.

Itachi smirked and walked over, easily slipping one from Sai who immediately protested, “It’s alright. I can—"

“Don’t be silly,” Itachi winked and Sai looked away, following him into the kitchen.

Sarada walked over to the couch, while Sasuke had barely moved since they’d gotten there. She rested a hand on his knee, and he felt compelled to meet her gaze. She looked confused and a bit saddened by his expression. He attempted a small smile.

She smiled back, leaned over to kiss his cheek, then ran off to her room calling out, "Hey Uncle!" to Itachi as she passed the kitchen. 

Sasuke turned just in time to see Itachi was walking out and rubbing a thumb over his lips. Sasuke scowled and rolled his eyes, while Itachi looked extraordinarily pleased with himself.

“You should meet my fiancé soon, Sasuke,” Itachi said as he stopped in front of the door.

Sasuke waved dismissively and Itachi smiled back as if he'd somehow interpreted the action as some sort of affirmation. 

“We’ll have dinner this weekend, I’ll send over the details.” He left after that, and Sasuke was annoyed because it was just like Itachi to makes plans like that on his own.

But also annoyed because Itachi had, once again, forced Sasuke to expose these feelings only to leave so that he could fester in them. Or drown in them, felt like a more appropriate way to describe it. 

So, he’d made a mistake. He should have stuck around. He should have properly spoke to Naruto, because it wouldn’t have been like all those other times where they argued and got lost in the moment because the attraction between them was bordering on unreal.

He wasn’t married, Naruto seemed like he had chosen him over that brow-less redhead, and they liked each other. Or at least, Sasuke could admit that what he felt for Naruto was  _like_ , at the very least.

But he’d chickened out. So now, he had to make a new decision. What was he going to do? Leave it be, or attempt to fix it? Both could end in unnecessary suffering, but he had to pick one or the other.

He could hear his brother’s voice in his head and it ticked him off. It was humored and repeated the same thing over and over again.

_“Fight for it or forget it? Which is it going to be, Sasuke?”_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this took so long to push out! It's a bit longer, so maybe that made up for my shitty updating speed. But anyway, what did y'all think? Did you see that coming? What do you think will happen next? I can't wait to see you guy's reactions! 
> 
> And thank you all for reading! I hope you all are still enjoying it. I'm not making any promises, but next chapter should be out soon enough :) 
> 
> Until then~


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